Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Feliz Navidad

Well I'm not the biggest fan of the Mahatma ( I don't even really know particularly why), but he might have hit the nail on this one....
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” - Mahatma Gandhi.

Now the problem is when those conjunctions make you happy, but bring harm to others. Honestly selfishly chasing happiness, how is that any good. the challenge lies in figuring out what the right thing is and then having the balls to do it every time, even when it is inconvenient. A wise man once told me, " you only lie because you don't have the guts to tell the truth". So true so true.

such a hard way to live though....
you jerk, no one said it was easy....for crying out loud. what do you want the whole world in a silver platter?
Um yes, that would be nice.
there is no point having this conversation with you right now.
Well Mr. Perfect, what have you done lately?
I do...I do...stuff.....
Oh yea like what? work as a corporate slave? then go to your precious home sit down, eat yourself into a food coma in frontof the TV, pretend to read then fall asleep to do it all over again
You know what, that was hitting below the belt....you know I have addictions....
dude you're more pathetic than I am, but at least I know it.

This conversation has been brought to you by the soon to be going schizo barewalls. at least you can say you knew both of them, i mean him, in the early stages...when there was only 1 or 2 personalities....insanity baby here I come.

Some INFO

Those of you still reading this, I will be home Dec 20th to January 2nd.

come stop by the domicile, we'll have some laughs some food and hopefully I won't make you cry. I'm going to spend as much time with the family as possible, so please forgive if I do not venture out and visit. I try to do the visits way too much when I've been home in the past and don't spend enough time with the fam. Not cool.

I will be at the football field on Saturday, so people show up. it's been a whilea nd I don't know how much longer I can play tackle football. I give myself 3 more years. which means about 6 more total times. that's scary.

Talk to ME with don cheadle is excellent, Flock with richard gere and claire danes, who is an okay actress but she is good to over act at least 1 scene ina movie and make you stop enjoying her character, is a terrible movie unless you are into that 8MM type scene. Just not my cup o tea, and if it's yours, well let's not discuss that topic.

check out the Yes I meant literally, http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2007/12/17/071217fa_fact_lizza
This one I have more respect for McCain and Senator Graham..wise men trying not to be reactionary
also Dave Sedaris and Gladwell articles are pretty good and I enjoyed the one about Huckabee, especially his points on Education and the whole bomb bunker back in the 50s vs. shampoo in small bottles now analogy. ah read the articles time well spent. at least you'll be informed on some issues.
The new york magazine article on Giuliani is pretty good and the whole decrease in crime during Rudy's time in NYC and the reasons behind it has been discussed in Freakonomics and this article. interesting stuff. However, you need to read some pro Giuliani articles before you make a decision. Informed decisions, don't just say Giuliani cleaned up Nw York, tell me how his tactics cleaned up New York, what directives did he push through or his advisors, was it him or was it other reasons like the demographic change argued in Freakonmics? anyways i'm out enough of this.

complete me

So I get to my room at about midnight after some serious mahjong session. I havne’t really had dinner so I order some room service. Now it’s one of those rooms where you place your plastic keycard in the slot so that it will activate the power to your room so you can have lights and tv and all that good stuff.

I eat my sandwich, watching some tv, turn off said tv and go to bed. I wake up in the morning and there is no power, no TV, no lights, except for the standalone emergency lights. I turn on every switch, no dice, I go over to the card slot, and the card is missing, my reaction, you guessed it, what the fuck???

Now I woke up a bit late so I gotta hurry up and get ready to meet everybody and I don’t have time to wonder what the fuck really happened, I am not in the habbit of fucking sleep walking. This definitely has me agitated. I check if I am missing anything important, passport, wallet, computer, nope everything is there. What the fuck? I’m normally paranoid anyways and I’m thinking, they could easily take my credit card numbers. Which reminds me I need to check my credit card usage. EGH. I hate cancelling cards, but I have no choice now.

Weird thing, my work ID card I might have left in the hotel room in the hurry and the fact that there were no lights….anyways, so I go down stairs to check out and explain the situation to the receptionist, who pissed me the fuck off because she just blew it off. “thank you sir for your suggestion” is what I got when I asked if they could check with housekeeping if anyone came to my room. I think that irritated me more than anything else, she just couldn’t understand how weird a feeling it is to think that someone came in your room while you were sleeping and you didn’t know. Normally I’m a light sleeper too. WTF? What the fuck, I’m definitely pushing a couch next to the door anytime I’m at a hotel. Sonsabitches.

However, now the question remains. So what are the possible explanations.

1. I’m losing my mind, and I removed the card myself
2. Someone in the hotel staff came into my room and took it to play a joke on me
a) Would make me a little upset but I can get over it
3. Someone in the hotel staff came into my room and rummaged my info, took my ID card and will use it for fraudulent purposes
a) What can I do? Boycott the hotel? Cancel my cards write a complaint?
b) Can I prove any of this? No
4. If something did happen, but tell me no, and say something like “nothing in our records show any foul play”
a) What do I do? Probably convince myself that I am insane.

So in the end, I am out of ideas, it’s Friday 9PM in the office and I have a splitting headache and I have a few more things still left to do at work. Kill me now. But baby the weekend is here league playoffs in basketball.


Lesson Learned. Push couch against door when asleep at hotel. When people complain to you, and you cannot help them, a little empathy goes a long way. Maybe that’s what my pussy ass self was looking for, some empathy. Someone to just say "i'm sorry sir, please accept our sincere apologies" and mean it. Maybe give me some type of hotel compensation. I hate myself and my retarded psychoanalysis.

Yikes

So I'm really tired of writing about my life in Shanghai. After a while there is only so much new that happens. I'm working a little hard, but I can honestly say that I really haven't ever worked that hard. The last time I worked hard and felt it was probably as a dishwasher when I was like 16 or 17. since then, its been pretty easy. College, there were a few stressful days, but mostly I coasted. I've coasted at work since I finished college. now it's starting to pick up. I'm trying to see what it really means to work all the time. How much work do I do per week that is actual solid work. 20 hours? possibly. how much time do I goof off? perhaps 30-40? why? because i've been able to get away with it that's fucking why? Shit what the hell is with these 20 questions ass hole? you trying to get into my head or something?...um sorry dude, relax, take it easy.

the good news, the construction next to my apartment is over and i can sleep in if I so desired without having the urge to drop someone off the edge of a building. so I got that going for me.

the problem with pictures are I take pictures of other people and not too much of me and I really don't feel like posting pictures of people without their permission. what is this new fangled facebook and my space I shoudl join?

Manila, Phillipines

So there's nothing like getting your ass whopped on for two straight days of ultimate. We didn't hve the same team as the one in Hong Kong, and when yours truly is one of the better offensive players, let's say we got issues. So i will have to work on my throws a lot to get better and contribute better. Phillipines just felt so much more comfortable than China, I was just a lot more relaxed and the language barrier isn't nearly as bad as China. even the taxi drivers speak pretty good english. It just felt nicer, I can't explain why. The airport is pretty annoying in Manila, it took an hour to get through checking, immigration, and security. Pudong inShanghai is a breeze and also you have to pay like 17 USD in airport service charges to get out of the Phillipines. airport restaurants are terribe too, but so is Pudong's.

the party wasn't nearly as good as Hong Kong's and the tourney was pretty freaking inefficient and the food at the tourney was very subpar compared to Hong Kong. Hong Kong was a better organized tourney but Phillipines was much bigger, the Ultimate scene in the Phillipines is much bigger.
Oh check this, drug trafficking is punishable by death in the Phillipines. holy cow. In china, if you are caught with drugs, you are kicked out of the country forever.

Well that's your weekend update. I didnt get back to my apartment until 2 in the morning, and gettig up work was a biatch. I got some good reading done because my computer was down the entire day. Now it's back and I'm off to tianjin tomorrow morning. Gonna miss 2 thanksgiving dinners...curses stupid tianjin and i might miss the semi finals of the fall league......sonofabitch. I hate work sometimes. ruining my personal plans like that.

Sporadiscism

so it's been a while Kids. i do apologize, but last coupla weeks has been work and organizing travel to a frisbee tournament in Manila which will be this weekend. first time to the phillipines. you excited, cause daddy sure is. oh reminds me cause on my way back from the phillipine consulate, which is on one of the posh streets in shanghai, NanJing Xi Lu. if you are a foreigner you get accosted by lots of guys wanting to sell you rolex watches. anyways, so i am walking back to the office, and I see a guy climb to the top of one of the trees on the sidewalk. Okay....whatever right? It's a free country, trees are meant to be climbed on...then i see two guys on the ground square off to a fight. the fight was anticlimatic, kicking, some smacks/punches to the head, no tackling to the ground at all. where is the ground and pound tactic? what i wondered was, was the guy on the treetop getting away from the fight or was he trying to get a better vantage point. the fight as i walkd through was getting broken up b some passerbys. i don't know what would have happened if cops got involved. so far from my viewpoint, the cops here seem actually somewhat reasonable, but I have not had any run ins. I haven't seen any angry cops, which there are a lot in the states.

what else has been going on since the last blog. not so much kiddies, just work in tianjin a little, I will be there all next week, oooh yeah, and some ultimate and saw american gangster, good flick, pretty true to the real story. enjoy the weekend, I have a red eye to catch to manila.

Victorious Nov 1, 2007

November 1, 2007

And we won. The whole Hong Kong Ultimate Tournament. That was a lot of fun, just incredible. I’m not a very good player by any means. I usually play defense and then if the other team turns the disc, I’m on offense, but that’s about it. We went undefeated the entire weekend. The final was absolutely intense. We played against a Pan-Asian ringer team which had some really good girls and guys. (coed tourney), and they were killing teams the entire weekend. Same thing was supposed to happen to us after we won the semis (we were down 7-4 at half, decided to go zone against their long game, and won 12-11). We had a guy 2 or 3 guys on our team that played incredibly well and everyone else played pretty much mistake free ultimate in he finals. We were trading points back and forth and half time was 7-6. Then we ended up winning 14-12.

To add, we won the Halloween party as well, the theme Rocky horror picture show. We had two teams going to the tourney and we all dressed up like characters from RHPS. Google that thing, and you will understand. There are now pictures proliferating on facebook that will ultimately ruin my future political career. And of course since I didn’t have my own camera with me, I cannot post any right now.

Random sadness: So I’m walking outside a sports bar after the rugby world cup finals and this kid runs upto me and asks for money, and my friend asks him where his mom is, and he says he doesn’t know. So these kids are pretty much sold to these guys who use them as beggars. So do I give money to the kid and encourage this horrible practice? I say no.

Tianjin is cold as heck now. It is biting. I hate the cold, hate it, and I’m getting sick. Time to visit the local pharmacy and get a zithromycin pak. I’m definitely creating some type of superbug with all these random and probably over dose of antibiotics. Move to china create antibiotic resistant superbug and complete phase I of world take over plans. Check. Commencing step 2, which will of course remain a secret until it is completed.
Oh and last night a bunch of us from work went out to dinner in Tianjin and my colleagues decided to be more adventurous than usual. I don’t know if they really like this stuff or if they are just testing me to see what I would eat. They ordered this pig’s blood and internal organ soup which had all these chopped chili peppers in it. I’m gonna pass gang. Beef tendon sauté, deep fried pig intestines, potatoes, and chili peppers again. I ate the potatoes and took a bite of the intestines, not too bad, but I’m gonna stick to the fish and noodles. The rest of the stuff was okay, but good gravy. These chili peppers will rock your world.

Next tourney manila.

Long Hiatus Oct 25, 2009

So to the faithful my apologies. I have been traveling and moving to a new apartment and things have been slightly hectic. So travels were to the U.S. and a little within China. Surprised my boy at his wedding. Yes, I am awesome and let me tell ya Mississippi and Cali know how to party. Work has picked up and I’m traveling once a week at least to Tianjin since our last communiqué. You know what this means, expense reports, I have a back log from freaking august. I hate that crap. If anyone can come up with an easier way to do expense report rather than this paper and receipt B.S, please let me know.

So I guess the apartment, well it’s a pretty good apartment, I’m getting more and more used to it, but I will say that when that 8 month lease (yeah tricky little thing) runs out next june, I’m outta there. It just doesn’t feel right, and besides I want to live in different parts of Shanghaand learn the city you know. So this is my second location, the Bonus, 15 minute walk to work, ba12 minutes if I pick up the pace. I don't think I will describe teh apartment too much here, but the walls will be bare and you just have to come and visit me here to see what it's really like. you got 8 months.


Since I got back, what has happened so far? Well, the day after I got back from Stateside, I traveled to Tianjin, and the week after that we had an HSE audit at the factory in Tianjin. HSE = Health Safety and Environment. So a trained auditor comes to your factory and looks at the plant from operating, to financial, to HR to logistics, to document control to evaluate the amount of HSE risk that the plant poses to the worker, and the environment. So I was there to listen to the auditors and discuss with them any findings. Say if they found something, my job would be to see if the plant is justified in their actions or if the auditors are right. So I pretty much played devil’s advocate. In the end, the whole point is to make your plant safer, I could care less about the findings, let’s just get the fucker safe. And the audit went surprisingly well, the plant got a pretty high score, details obviously can’t be discussed here, but everyone’s happy, and for some retarded reason management is happy with me because of what I did at the audit. I have no idea what I did, but my bosses are smitten, I guess with these killa looks (albeit the gigantic nose, I guess it grows on ya (ha yes pun definitely intended (I hate myself)) who can resist. The good Lord has definitely been good to me. .

While we are here, let’s just do this. So religion is somewhat a pretty big part of my life and as such, I do believe that my success is really a blessing more than anything I have done myself. However, religion is a sensitive issue and my intention is not to force my beliefs on anyone, but I feel like a fraud if I don’t give credit where I believe it’s due. So is this the right forum to express my thoughts on the subject? well I’m not sure, but it’s there.

Right now I’m sitting on a plane to Tianjin and we’re waiting on “loading documents” and daddy has about 7 hours of sleep in the last 2 nights combined, I’m freaking dying here. Continue to this incoherent blog or fall asleep?

So after the last day of the audit, a few of us went to a Korean BBQ, now this was pretty cool. You get lots of raw meat, thinly sliced (vegetables and seafood are available if you like) and you sit around a hot grill and just throw those suckers on there. You get sauces to dip your meat in and lettuce to wrap it in. Time consuming, but great stuff. Our girl Elise did all the cooking and they definitely ordered some lamb kidneys (an aphordesiac for men apparently). Thank you but no thank you. Or how about some raw ground beef mixed with a raw egg? Umm isnt’ that just like eating a raw hamburger you ask? Xie xie ni ke shi bu yao. Whad up now pinyin?

Afterwards, there was a choice between going to the disco (read clubbing) or karaoke or KTV as it is known around here. So they ask me what I wanted to do and I left it upto them and they of course chose Karaoke. My second time ever and those of you know me describe my singing skills as oh how do you say it….oh yea that’s right Tone deaf. Now we had to lovely ladies I work with who can do a pretty decent job, one of the guys did a good job, and me and my man Dean well let’s just say there is now a new rendition of Hey Jude in the office. Oh dear. And of course there are lots of Chinese songs which are mainly love ballads, they dig this stuff here. And of course West Lift, Nsync, backtstreet boys and I found a horrifyingly eighties rap version of “we will rock You”. Overall, I can’t wait to do it again….one thing that made me realize is that how bad I got lyrics wrong in some songs that I used to sing along to. I am retarded.

During the move, I misplaced my camera so that sucks. Oh and my favorite person in the office just left us. His last day is oct29th. Sad day sad day. This weekend Ultimate tourney in Hong Kong. Holla.

Golden Arches of Deliciousness Part Deux (Sept 7-9)

Breakfast: Noodles being made at the local univeristy cafeteria. Noodles, soy sauce, chilli, pickles, and cilantro. they love cilantro here.

So this weekend I decide to visit my main man Fu YiLin (I have his permission) in Hangzhou. I’ve never been to HZ, but this is the city of West Lake, a really popular tourist attraction in China. Also, it’s not as a big city as Shangahi and lots of rich people and retirees come to settle in HZ because it’s so beautiful, or so I’ve been told. So Friday after work, I go back home to get changed and grab my stuff, and MLK is going to go with me. I told him I’ll meet him at the train station. Now MLK and I have a tenuous relationship and I think he knows it too, but I’m not going to discuss the details here. Anyways, so I’m waiting to take the subway to the train station, and I swear I look at which direction it’s going and I get on the train and two stops later I realize I’m going the wrong way, and my train will leave in 40 minutes. Thankfully, I get off and get back on the right direction and make it in time for the train. Phew. We get to HZ and Fu Yi Lin is waiting for us and we take a cab back to the hotel he has arranged. Excellent Hotel, it’s brand new which is good because everything is clean, and I feel comfortable.

MLK goes back to his friends place, he graduated from the university in HZ. So Fu YiLin and I decide to make a trip to West Lake at night. We walked through some bamboo gardens which are very peaceful and finally made it to West Lake. It’s huge, I mean I don’t think it’s any of the great lakes huge, but it ain’t no pond either. I’m really tired since we walked a good hour or so and we take a taxi back. I get back and I crash.

Next morning SW and MLK came by the in the morning and we had noodles for breakfast. Oh here’s a note, if you are into some sort of low carb atkins bullshit diet, don’t come to china, this is the land of rice, noodles, and bao zi and dumplings. Lots of carbs and lots of processed carbs. So yeah have fun with that. Oh and guess who did one of those diets, yeah you’re lookin at him. EGH. Really sometimes I truly despise myself.

So we hit up west lake again, it was hazy, but its nice you know. I’ve seen better, but its nice. To be honest, I'm surprised how much my chinese colleagues and friends rave about this place. It's nice, but from their description I was expecting more, but I didn't see a lot of the city. There isa lot of history there I don't know about either. Ancient poets, warriors, legends, etc.

We rented a small boat for an hour and relaxed in the water. I took a little nap…mmm naps. Love naps. We had lunch and the guys took care of me. Unbelievable, the whole weekend, they paid for everything and when I thought I would pay the final lunch on Sunday morning, MLK beat me to it, the cheeky bastard. Didn’t know he had it in him. Man these guys are in school and really don’t have that much cash at their disposal and still took care of me like a king and they just refused to let me pay for anything. What can you say huh?

Anyways, then we played some ball at the local university outdoor courts. The talent, I’d say on a scale of 1-10 they’d be about 5 or 6. There was this kid, a freshman probably, who really was a damn assassin. He definitely shot from the outside close to 60%. You could not leave him open and he never missed two in a row. Moved without the ball, rebounded and he was only about 5’8”. Really fun to play with. We played for about an hour and half and then went to dinner Now this part of the university is about an hour bus ride from West Lake and it’s pretty brand spanking new. I might have some pictures. I didn’t check out any of the buildings inside other than the cafetiera. There are two levels, the more expensive one and the common one. Which I guess you can find in universities stateside as well. Oh andby the way, the courts are crazy. This out door court, which is one of several in the univeristy, had a total of 30 half courts, and each had at leasta 4 on 4 game going and several people waiting. 300 kids, at least, easy. that's just one set of courts....unbelievable. sports/shoe company wet dream. It's just that these kids are in the university and couldn't afford your average Nike shoe, not by a long shot, but they love it, they really love it. the whole basketball culture. I've played with a guy who's goal is to collect all 2o some Jordan shoes. He wore Jordan's favorite pair the other day, the one he wore during the 72 win season. I love basketball, but there is no way, I plunk down 150 for a pair of shoes.

Aftewards, more bball this time with Fu Yilin’s friends. The competition was slightly better and there was one court where some serious ballers were playing. These guys were like 6’4” and can move and shoot pretty well. So the skills are definitely there in China, but not NCAA skills or NBA skills, but they can survive on any of the suburban courts. However, there are a lot of people playing who absolutely suck as well. Just remember population…..

Anyways, so after bball, everyone is tired, and I get back to the hotel and I just stay there. I’m a little hungry, but I keep watching a bad movie and by about midnight I’m starving. Room service is closed and I decide to venture outside and see what’s what. I take a couple block walk for 30 minutes, listening to my mandarin audiotapes, and I’ve got nothing. Now I’m really hungry and the only shop open is a convenient store and a local restaurant and it’s safe to assume that there are no English menus. So I come back to the hotel and ask for directions for a food place and I still don’t know what the lady said to me. The only thing I understood was turn right out of the hotel. If it was her right or my right I still don’t know.

And now it’s almost 1:30 AM and I’m officially starving and sleepy but damn it I want food. I walk two blocks, nothing, left or right, always left, and I see a club, this is promising, but no food, and I keep walking and I see some neon through the trees to my right, and I walk over and look at my left, and look into the valley and low and behold, there it is the Golden Arches of Delciousness, and what does that glorious sign say? “24 hours.” Baby, daddy’s been livin right. Practically giddy, but way too cool to show it, I mosey on down to the MickeyDs and order myself a double cheese burger, big mac, and fries. Oh healthy livin, don’t you love it. I guess as anywhere else, this is where people come down to eat after some clubbing and there are definitely some drunk fellas in the line today. Coupla guys are from the sub continent and I give them the nod and one of them is really drunk and being a semi-jerk. Then he goes to the counter and spits out fluent mandarin. Egh. If this guy can do it, damn it I can. One of these days brotha. One of these days.

So I walk back, it starts drizzling, no umbrella, I jog it back to the hotel just in time to avoid the rain. Plop down on my bed, and scarf down both sammiches and go to bed. The whole time during this adventure, even as I started to walk out the first time for food, I’m thinking, this is a pretty good blog story, and I am thinking of the exact words to write, and realized that I need to be a bit more adventurous for the sake of my readers.

So here’s to more adventures, but they won’t be happening anytime soon as I am somewhat working a little lately. I know I know, I’m shocked as you are.

Golden Arches of Deliciousness

Random Constrution: The streets are being dug up everywhere. this used to be a pretty busy steet. Now the street is on the other side of the blue wall.
We’ll get to the title in a second. I walk into my favorite restaurant, City Diner, and see that the lower level is being gutted for construction, I pay it no mind, I came back two days later and we got a brand new wall, it’s ridiculous how fast construction can happen in China. But here’s the problem, all that haste makes some serious waste. Waste in the sense that things are done haphazardly a lot. Our plant, little over a year old, the paint has started coming off, high profile visible cracks, etc. Don’t get me wrong, some of the construction here is probably the best in the world. I mean take a look at any of the work in Pudong or at Tomorrow Square building, it is realy kick ass, but there is a lot of work that is done hastily and shabbily. Your apartment building can start cracking up paint or pealing anytime, so in my rent agreements I have to have clauses in there to protect myself that I did not have to have in the past. Let’s just say I really don’t feel like trying the legal system here without those specific clauses. Thursday I had dinner with a couple of friends and we had crawfish boil. Oh man I love crawfish. We got it asian style instead of Cajun style. Some with curry, and some with ginger and black pepper. Good stuff. Oh and you get plastic gloves so your hands don’t get dirty. So after dinner we decide to go down to the local DVD store which my friends say is only a 10 minute walk, 30 minutes later (thanks guys), we finally get there. I settle on a bad quality version of the simpsons movie. I had to seriously get out of there before I got another TV show and ended up pulling an all-nighter. TV show DVDs, especially TV shows with a continuing story for the entire season, kill me because I can’t stop myself from going to the next episode, before I know it and 12 hours later, my living room look scene from the Lord of the Flies, and all I’m missing is Piggy and his glasses to build a fire. Oh by the way, can the Phils fuck up in anymore cruel fashion. I hate our bullpen, I hate them with a passion, what the hell. We kick the Mets ass and follow it up with getting our pants pulled down against the Braves. I read about the loss where we gave up a 5-0 lead and then came back to lead it again, and then lost it in the ninth or something ridiculous like that. Hey I know what we can do to shore up our pitching. We’ll make a huge free agent signing, and not give the guy a physical, and find out after the guy blows his arm out for the year, that he was hurt when he signed the motherfucking contract. And we still keep paying him while he does nothing for us. If that is not negligence in doing your fucking job as a general manager, well shit then my name is King fucking Kong and I like to climb on top the empire state building and swat angrily at biplanes whizzing by and eventually fall to my death as I realize the love of my life is beautiful blonde bombshell while I am just a giant fucking hairy ass ape. FUCK. I HATE THE PHILLIES. Our best pitcher is hurt and our second best pitcher (Kendrick is probably our best starter) is a 44 year old wily veteran who has an ERA over 5. now I can take that as our fifth starter like the Wake in Boston, but for crying out loud. Jamie Moyer, “ I aint’ mad atchya I ain’t got nothing but love for ya”, but I just can’t be having you as my 2nd starter that’s all. So imagine flame throwing knee buckling pitching ability of our 4th and 5th starters. And you know what, there isn’t a damn player in free agency that can help us. Where the hell is my spicy Indian food so I smear it all in my eyes. While we’re at it, can we just fucking fire greg lewis and his goffy ass self. I’m sorry but that motherfucker needs to go, and two miffed punt in one game and one is with less than 2 minutes in the game. So you’re telling me 4 preseason games isn’t enough to decide on a punt returner, ladies and gentlemen: I give you the legendary pre-game preparation of Andy (I wish I knew his middle name) Reid. Why why did my parents have to move to philly when I was a kid, WHY? WHY? I’m destined to just root for teams that torture my soul and seriously test the depths of my sanity. Look what you have made me Philly Sports, LOOK WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE DONE TO ME. You have made me a stark raving lunatic.
Okay back to China, sorry about that folks. I’m still angry, but I am a hollow reed and trouble passes through me like that wind. Fucking motherfucking monkey ball shit, fuck., just one fucking championship just one, is that too much to ask? I have to go now. I need prozac stat.

Spicy? August 27-Sept 2 2007

August 27-September 2 2007
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070831/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_china_ninja
now this is hilarious. Sorry maybe I’m culturally insensitive, but from my view point, F-U-N-N-Y


So this week was pretty uneventful. No funny stories, except my man Elvis(this is an alias, I’ve decided to use aliases from now on since I don’t have people’s permission to talk about them) was hilarious. Dude’s English isn’t perfect, but he is easily the funniest guy in the office. Cracks me up every time I talk to him. So Monday I was in a really good mood and I decided to buy some Bao Zhi for breakfast. These are dumplings the size of donuts filled with vegetables or pork or beef, or shrimp or shrip and vegetables. Anything you want really. So I decide to be a nice guy and get them for the whole office. I buy fifteen of them. These suckers are steaming hot and I get them in a plastic bag. The steam escapes and hits my hand, I almost drop all of them on the ground. So I get myself in a taxi as soon as possible instead of trying to walk with them. So I get to the office, get them out of the plastic bag into a ceramic bowl, plastic forks (no chopsticks at the office), paper plates, napkins, I’m freaking Martha Stewart over here. Ready to go (and I’m get to the office before everyone else). This deserves extra notice since I think I have made it to work “on time” probably 5 times in 2 months or so. So patting myself on the back as we speak. Oh did I mention each of these Baos are 1RMB a piece. Not exactly healthy stuff, but it’s better than a donut, that’s for damn sure.
Elvis: So nice of you to get breakfast for us.
Me: No problems, any time.
Elvis: What’s inside
Me: Vegetables (This was a loca restaurant and since I couldn’t read the menu, I just pointed to something, it was just green veggies and tofu, Egh, I should have asked for pork (which is Jiuro prononounced: Jew Row, irony much?)
Elvis: hahahaha, Goodbye (and walks back to his desk). Just had to be there. Obviously he prefers the meat filled ones.
And for lunch we go to a wonton soup place, now let me say wonton soup sucks stateside (alliteration, just for you my English teachers). This was a whole in the wall shop and they did frozen wontons, and it was still better than any wonton soup I had in the states. So you can imagine the wonton soup at a semi decent restaurant here.

This week I was pretty useless. I found a great website called www.waiterrant.net. Talk about a good blog. I mean I literally killed hours on this. The guy is an excellent writer, he’s got great stories, and throw in any biting angry streak and a dashes of tenderness and maturity, and it is literary cauldron of deliciousness (um I think you carried that food metaphor thing a bit too far there Shakespeare). I wish this thing I write was half as good as his. So I need to work on my writing. I need to have more dialogue with people. I’m too much of a loner. Always have been, but that’s a different story and I need to just start doing random stuff. At work, I don’t really have that much contact with other people. Work has been slow. So our local Chinese interns went back to their schools. We had a 2 hour lunch, and then to top it off, we had a meeting at 5 about presentations we have to do. Unreal. Took a couple of the interns out to dinner. Because of the vacation situation, I missed out on a hiking trip with some of my colleagues. I am so jealous right now. EGH.

Saturday was cleaning the apartment, working out, ultimate, and a fantasy football draft. Probably one of my worst performances to date. So Sunday, I had planned to play basketball with Lee, one of the guys I met here. He’s an A.I fan and when I saw him, he was a walking Nike Ad. So just as we meet, it starts to rain, and it’s been raining off and on, but we both want to play really bad. Now after I saw a guy land flat on his ass trying to attempt a layup back in the day when I was a younger much better looking man (before my nose decided to exchange DNA with freaking Pinocchio), I decided that I would not play on a wet court. Well I guess there goes that decision. So we get to one of the free courts, and we play, and my man and I ran the pick and roll to death. He’s got great vision and got the pass to wherever the hell he wanted to. Shit I lost count of how many easy bunnies I missed and the passes that bounces of my hands cause I just wasn’t expecting it. Man that was fun and our team didn’t lose, note that the competiton wasn’t really that good. I’ve gotten my ass handed to me here by some locals. One guy I guarded was like 6’2-6’3, and he stepped on the court, no warm up shots, gets the ball and I let him get the shot, and he fucking nails it. I couldn’t give him an inch of space. He was just good. His team spanked ours everytime. So I’m fighting for a ball and I hit a slick spot and one leg goes one way and the other another. Messed up my hip. Mr. glass strikes again, hey at least the ankles were safe this time around.

So I met a couple of guys from South India and they work for a company that produces the machines that make solar panel crystals. Interesting stuff, so meeting other Indians is always nice. Of course, I’m more American than Indian, and they know it and aresurprised that I still speak my language which is similar to theirs. I speak Malayalam and they speak Tamil. So if you look at the map of India and go to the very southern tip, on the Arabian sea side is my state, Kerala and on the Bay of Bengal side is theirs, Tamil Nadu. Our language is very similar, something like Italian and Spanish, so we can understand each other for parts of the conversation, but we leave it at English just to spare any misunderstandings. So one of the guys, Nadhan, is with his wife and 15 month old daughter and the other guy is married, but solo in Shanghai. Really nice guys. Mr. Solo invites me over to dinner at his place and he cooks chapattis and curry, and Nadhan’s wife comes with a crab curry she made at her place. You know I’m usually good with butter and lemon, but I’d say the south asian style of cooking crab in curries like India, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, is probably the best. The curry just seeps its flavor into every nook and cranny of the crab. It’s fantastic. So Mr. Solo made his vegetable curry and he and I are eating together as Nadhan is waiting for his wife, and he asks me if the curry he made is too spicy. Now I’ve been Americanized so my tolerance of spicy food is somewhat oh how do I say, okay I’m a sissy little girl now, okay, is that what you wanted to hear, are you happy now??!! But at the moment, I wanted to him that my palette is as tough as they come and damn it, I can handle it. So as my tongue is slowly catching fire and the lava is slowly making its way to the rest of my mouth, I say “oh it’s fine, no worries, no problems” and he goes, “yeah it’s a little spicy for me.” Do I need to say anything more?

A good bye (August 20-26)

The view is from a restaurant called M on the Bund. The first is Puxi side, and the second is Pu Dong which is the new city which was all but marsh land in 1990. and now it's ridiculous. They did a really nice job with Pu Dong. wide streets, lots of trees, a lot cleaner than Puxi. THe the Pearl tower is the building with the two bulbs, The lower bulb they are renting out apartments with a hefty price tag. I don't know the exact numbers, but I hear its insane.

A shout out to my boys, Ryan and Jason, who ended their internship and went back to school in the US. Great to meet you guys, sonsabitches better stay in touch. I know where you go to school….Jason, now who the hell is going to handle the menu? You know I ain’t trusting Jon with that shit. And Ryan, whatever the hell you do, do not, I mean do not, drop that yellow cake. Don’t drop that shit. So pretty much, I’m gonna miss you guys a lot. Okay back to being a guy now.

So at work we have some issues with one of the local safety authorities. Can’t go into specifics, but in China there are about a million freaking laws and probably thousands of codes that you have to adhere to, depending on your business. I was trying to find the laws that we needed to work with in a database, and I think I stopped counting at 10,000 at least that’s when I stopped hitting (next page) on the website. In any case there are specific instructions on food processing, each specific food additive, I mean pretty every nook and cranny. However, if an audit is done, I bet money that you will find more companies in violation of these laws rather than in compliance. At least that’s my bet. If there are any laws/guidelines/ restrictions for food vendors, there is no way they enforce that in Shanghai. You can see meat being cut up in pretty unsanitary conditions. Easily.
So anyways, back to our problems. In China, all buildings and structural designs have to be approved by a local design institute (LDI) and they are supposed to adhere to all codes and give you a design with their seal. Without their seal, you can’t put up anything permanent for sure, (temporary is defined as less than 5 years). Even if something is temporary, depending on the size, you still might need LDI approval.
So we have a meeting with the LDI and the government to decide on a solution that we can all live with. For communciation’s sake, my boss who speaks Chinese, the LDI, and the government guy all speak in Chinese and me and one other guy who is American just sit there and I try to pay as much attention I can, but pretty soon, I’m thinking of fantasy baseball analysis and trade and wondering if I am going to do Fantasy football this year. I wonder how long it will take me to be a part of a conversation like that. I hate meetings, holy cow, imagine a meeting in a languge you barely understand and not wanting to fall asleep. I mean I have slept through class in two continents ( I perfected the art of sleeping and pretending to take notes, I mean I had people ask me questions on how I did it. practice baby practice. )and meetings in 3, well it took all my efforts not to fall asleep in this one. Anyways, the meeting went really well and we have come to a good solution that everyone can live with. So it is just a matter of executing it. That’s where yours truly comes in.

So Saturday, I decide to freaking kill myself. Starting at 2PM, I start playing sports, Ultimate, Bball, and then finally badminton, Olympic sport style. I played against one of my colleagues who is freaking really good. I stopped playing at 9PM. 2-9PM, with an hour in between for traveling. Let’s just say I slept like a freaking baby.

Sunday was great, I had brunch, read a book, church, dinner. Just relaxing.

All this week, I’ve been pretty sick too. So I can get antibiotics over the counter here. It’s awesome. I get a z pack of zithromycin for like 5 USD. It was awesome. The freaking Orange Juice absolutely destroyed me with a price tag of 8USD. This was imported Florda’s Natural. I just wanted non concentrated stuff and this was the only one I could read the tag on and trusted. Hefty freaking price. Unbelievable. Well some pics for your perusal.

Adventures Galore August 13-19

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So the pictures are from the left, hot pot (see below explanation), my gigantic nose and a rock formation in Yu Yao that looks like a face, and the inside of the church that I go to.

So it’s Tuesday right, and we are off to get some food. Let’s try a noodle shop. This place is known for their homemade noodles. We walk in and there isn’t a place to sit, and this is a good sign. The place is packed. Chinese are particular about their food and if a place is crowded, usually it’s a good bet. I guess universal everywhere. Seen the line at Pats or Genos? Anycase, we finally get a table for the five of us and we got our man Fu Yi Lin with us. Great guy. He’s an intern and supposedly a heck of a basketball player. Since he didn’t bring his shoes to shanghai, I just have to go visit him at his university and play some ball with him. Anyways, I order some home made noodles with beef. I get the noodles in a separate plate and what beef meant was lots of green stems (probably spinadch stems) finely chopped and tossed in some ground beef. The greens definitely outweighed the meat. Not preferred by the carnivore, your humble bard of shanghai. But the noodles they’re great, really damn good noodles. So I’m chomping my way through and hold on, wait what’s that. Look a little closer, nah, that’s not it. Hold on bub, just for a minute. Wait a minute, that is, no that is a caterpillar. About as thin as vermicelli and a couple centimeters long. Well now don’t that just ruin a meal. So we complain, and of course normally that would be it for me, but you know I’m with company, and besides it’s just a caterpillar right? Stop being such a pussy. So I order another dish, a clay pot dish with a beef soup and get on with it. (yes I believe I did pop a cyproflaxin after I got back to the office, just in case)

So lemme explain Hotpot. There are different kinds of hot pot, but the principally you sit at a table with a stove and they bring a pot of broth (seafood, beef, chicken, satay, vegetable, mixed) and you order all kinds of raw food from leafy vegetables to noodles, to thinly sliced beef and lamb, fish paste (not bad really), fish, sausages, whatever, right…and you dip it in cook it and of course you get a spoon and a chopstick. If you come to china, learn how to use a chopstick forks are not standard. So this can be either a communal pot or individual. Individual is definitely preferred. Some pictures..

So how do you like to get your ass whopped on by a fifty year old? In Ping Pong, that’s table tennis for you sophisticated folk. Man this lady took me to school and back and then just for good measure, took my damn lunch money too. I’ve played ping pong and usually I am okay, well okay in China means you can’t return a damn serve and getting smashed even when you do manage to return it. I could get a couple of points against the old lady and then I played Anton, a colleague’s boy friend, and I felt so bad because I felt like he was wasting his time. I think I might have been lucky to get maybe 1 point out of 7. ridiculous. So add it to the list, Chinese, pool, badminton, and now ping pong. Krieky.

So Saturday, I made a friend of mine wait freaking 45 minutes. Now most of you are used to this, but this was horrible. She was doing me a favor by taking me to this place where they sell cell phones for cheap. But I promised her I would take her out to dinner to a really nice restaurant. I need one that can play Mp3s. So this place, I have no idea how they get their cell phones, but it’s like half the freaking price for the one I got, which I think technically has not been released in Asia. It has to be shady. So now I feel somewhat guilty about perpetuating the black market culture. Egh. Of course, as always after the fact. What a little bitch. Oh boo hoo I feel guilty, hey did you check out my new phone? You’re not going to believe the deal I got. Oh and let me cry some more about feeling guilty and not doing a damn thing about it. Of course places like this, there are no return policies and the receipt you get definitely is not official. Now I’m gonna enjoy my 4GB memory phone and rock to some 50.

Oh Sunday I go to Carrefour and Carrefour is pretty much like walmart, but it’s French. Freedom fries anyone? So this Carrefour is a really nice (there are like six in shanghai, and some aren’t so nice), and it’s got a fruit selection that is unbelievable. Fruits from my childhood that I could never get in the States.

Let’s get to Sunday dinner. So my boss tells me about this Thai place across the street from where I live and recommend I try it. Well he’s got good taste and I’m down, what the hell else am I going to do? Sure as shit aint’ gonna cook right now. So I go across and walk through this alley, pretty interesting sight. See a group of old ladies playing Mahjong, little kid and his mom playing together, I say hi. Well I walk into the restaurant, and it’s all guys, and the bartender sashes across to me, and points me to a waiter who does the catwalk walk and leads me to a table and I realize well, shit George, I do believe tonight is gay night. I sit down, go over the menu order the chicken curry and two ladies (American and Chinese American) sit across at the table across me. Should have asked them to join me, but me being the sissy little girl I am, I didn’t and ate alone. Well that’s it. Now that was an adventurous week.

Blue Skies are smiling at me. (august 7-August 12)

So here’s their shizzle my mateys. After that weekend, no partying for a while. Good gravy. Then again how many times have I said that. Also, all week we could see blue skies in Shanghai. Now this my friends is an event because normally it’s just the haze of pollution blocking out Apollo himself. But when there is typhoon is Taiwan and the winds are blowing, we shanghainese get to gaze at the blue wonder, cloud figures and if we are so lucky see a coupla twinkles in the evening. Good times. You have no idea how much it helps with the heat and your overall mood to see blue skies until you haven’t seen any. At least for me. So now I know how depressed those poor bastards in the Matrix were. Live underground with no sun for a lifetime? Fuuuuuuuuuck that…..please plug my defeated ass into the matrix and make me Jordan.
Anyways, so last time I wrote this, I was on my way to JEDA (Jiashan Economic Development Zone) where one of our plants is located. We had a meeting with one of our suppliers for our automatic tank cleaning machines. We’re having some problems. Back later entourage time.

Oh boy, that was addicting. I gotta stop these DVD binges. Well anyways, you know what I’m excited about Rosetta Stone Chinese. Heard good things about it. Well we shall see. Wanted to buy that sucker for a long time. So back to the Jiashan meeting. So Jason our intern who speaks English and Chinese fluently, is the translator and he has a cast of a freaking thousand talking to him, and my man is getting pissed because everybody has a different opinion about what’s wrong. The German salesman who doubles as an arrogant prick, is also getting legitimately frustrated. There was foreman for the plant production personnal who was only recently hired and he doesn’t know what the hell is going on, but to because of his position he feels like he should be the fucking expert. Now these are the guys who fuck shit up. The idiot who is in position but does not know the details of the operation, but cannot humble himself because of his ego to admit that he doesn’t now what the shit is going on. This is true everywhere, America, Europe, but especially in China. A person will say he understand you, and says yes, but he doesn’t in reality have a clue. Now part of it is due to translation, but a lot of it is due to the fact that admitting you don’t know of course is embarrassing or “losing face”. So cutting through the bullshit sometimes is more than half the job. Well that was the point of that whole story. In the end, we got some of the conclusions, but not all. Oh and get this, the German does a presentation the day before and at the end of the presentation, he shows random porn. How freaking unprofessional is that? (no ladies were present in the room).

Oh man I had this stuff called lions head for lunch, and what it is a giant meatball (2in diameter). Good stuff. So tender. I have to start taking pictures of these dishes. So because everyone the team turned int heri mntly reports in time, the bosses take us out to dinner to this pretty nice Italian place. Pane e vino. They had this pancetta (fancy word for bacon) and oil dressing that was pretty darn good. Anyways, so this was probably the first time a lot of the team has tried Italian like this, or maybe Italian period. And for a lot of people, even a filet mignon didn’t taste good to them. It’s just not what they are used to. And etiquette wise, you know you gotta think, how much Chinese etiquette does an average college graduate in the U.S. know? So like I said, it works both ways, but if I worked for a Chinese company, I sure as heck would make it a point to learn. Also, I think the company should provide cross-cultural learning on basic stuff like dinner and meeting etiquette. In China, if a phone rings anytime, most people will answer it. Meeting or even during a one on one conversation. I’m used to it now and don’t care, but visitors have been known to get annoyed.

Check it out, a guy I played basketball with works for an ad agency that represents a major show company. He was gracious enough to let me check out his work and sit in a couple of meetings. The difficulties of the Chinese market, (active life isn’t a part of the culture, parents’ priority is education over athletics), how the relationship works between the ad agency and the client. Pretty cool stuff. Since I’m an obsessed sports junkie, this stuff was pretty cool. I need to start training for a Beijing half marathon in October. Better get on my damn horse and start running. Need to find a track. Maybe if I can psych myself into doing it, Shanghai full marathon in November. Yeah who knows this will be one of many unfinished projects in my life. Add it to the fucking list right? I can’t wait to train in this pollution. Playing ultimate Frisbee here and man after a sprint for the disc, my lungs are on freaking fire. I mean holy cow it’s like my aioli are getting seared or something. It hurts to breath in heavy. Apparently I’m going to get used to it or so the guys on the team say.

Oh and I figured out why I got sick last weekend, it was the milkshake I had after Frisbee. It’s a pretty good restaurant; apparently I can’t handle their milkshake. Wasn’t that good anyways. You know what is pissing me off, sometimes I feel like I’m getting by a cabbie or the driver takes a wrong turn or like this past Wednesday, the restaurant screws up our order and we wait over half an hour to get food, and I don’t have the skills to argue with them. Work in progress. Oh and since there are different accents and shanghainese is different than mandarin, the some cab drivers pronounce the street names differently. Differently meaning, Mandarin is a tonal language. So different tones have diffent meaning. And something simple as “Ma” can be pronounced four diffent ways for four different meanings. So when I tell them the intersection where I live, it can be an adventure sometimes because I get the tone wrong without realizing it, and they are all sorts of confused. It is getting less frequent now. Allright that was a boring ass blog. Next time kiddies, next time. Oh and if anyone knows some private equity or venture capital contacts, you gotta holla at me.

Food Poisoning round 3

July 28-August 07

So I continue to be late to everything. It’s unbelieavable. The good news is that its no longer like half an hour or anything, but more like 5 to 10 minutes. Which still is pretty annoying. You think this would be something easy to fix, but anyways enough self analysis.

NOTE: pics are being added to old blogs as I refer to the subject matter. the pic here is Jing'an temple close to work. it was rebuilt recently. new temple for the new sky scrapers right?

So let’s see what the hell did I do after I got back from Tianjin. I guess shit just wasn’t memorable enough. Mission: Get forks for party. So go to the grocery store, and I walk around for a little while and then I just decide to ask. I ask for forks, of course in English, what the fuck you think I’m china or something? (mmm my bad…) and my main man takes me over to the battery section….now tell me that isn’t funny. Anywys, I had to go to another place and got some plastic forks. Vietnamese food, freaking excellent. We’re building a plant in Vietnam, man I hope I get to go work there for at least a little while. Trying to plan a vacation, I’m thinking Fiji, Cambodia has been suggested, Nepal, Tibet, Bhutan? Now the dilemma comes in, do I write stuff that you can write up elsewhere (such as Chinese holidays), or do I write daily nuances that are just so damn quirky at times. China has 3 sets of holidays. You work a weekend, and then you get a whole week of off around the time of October 1, June 1 an Chinese new year (don’t know exactly when that is). So October 1 is coming up and I got a vacation to plan and during these holidays you want to get the heck out of China because all the Chinese go to the tourist attractions. Greatwall, suzhou gardens, wherever. So get out of china, avoid Thailand (because Chinese take their holidays here as well). So trust me when over 1 billion people take holidays, I’m sure they can cause a freaking semicontinental transportation mess.


Lost in the playoffs for bball, first game. Great game, we came back to tie it with 20 seconds and they went up by three, and missed a last second three. Pretty damn fun. Well shoot let’s just get to a food poisoning story. This past Saturday after bball, I go out to play a little ultmate, we played for like one point and stopped because it was pretty hot (not as hot as 2 Saturdays ago where when I walked out of the gym, and I just wanted cry. It was freaking ridiculous. I wish I had just passed out so I didn’t have to deal with that awfulness, it was that bad, factor in the smog and humidity, you got yourself a grown man (that’s debatable) wanting to cry himself to sleep. So this Saturday was mild in comparison. Anywho, I go back to the apartment, lie down for a while and get a call from my friend to go get some dinner. I start walking and I feel terrible. I pounding headache, and my stomach is killing me. I should go back, but I my boys are waiting for me. I get there and we decide to try a new brazilian bbq place, doing a comparison test. So now I’m doubled over at the table and I’m pouring sweat. Maybe I just need some bread and fruit to settle my stomach. NOPE. No dice. Okay I have to go home. So I get out with paying half the price and get out. Grab a cab and about 3 minutes later, I know whats gonna happen next. Thank goodness I have a cool cab driver. I tell him “no good” start patting my chest with an open hand (you like the details there? Makes you feel like you’re almost there, yeah that’s right descrfiptive narrative for my faithful, you know how we do) and show trouble breathing. (okay in hind sight, that might be misinterpreted as having a heart attack, next time I’ll get my broken Chinese and miming down a little better). My man pulls the car over to the curb, I open the door, and HEL-LO nurse. All water, nothing but water and the watermelon slices I just ate. Stop myself from dry heaving and get back to the apartment. Pop an antibiotic pill and take a nap for 3 hours. I wake up at about 11:00 and I’m good. Good as new. Good enough to walk 30 minutes to city diner, have a phone conversation with a friend, and order breakfast to go. I love city Diner. get back and stay up t'll 1 PM the next day (that's right a 12 hour stretch ) watching season 3 of the Wire. What a great show. Season 3 was just ridiculously good. I watched season 2 and 3 in less than a week. now you know why the dearth in the blog entries. Don't know if it was the KFC sandwich I had in the afternoon or the cow tongue, surprisingly okay.. (cooked) or the beef sashimi (that’s raw beef) I ate the night before at the all you can eat and drink Sushi place. This place was pretty good though. I’d go back there again. The grilled lamb chop and sirloin and the sashimi was pretty good. I think it was the mayo on the KFC.

Oh and Bubba’s, the BBQ joint here, its overnpriced and not that good. That was the smallest ribs I’ve ever seen. Come on dude, that just aint cool. Wish I just had the balls, time, and money to open a restaurant. There, there’s the dream, open a restaurant. Maybe when I retire in 50 years.

Tianjin

Oh by the way, the flight I’m supposed to take today, the first domestic one, from Shanghai to Tianjin has been delayed for almost an hour now. Make that freaking 1.5 hours, after we boarded on time. And I’m in the middle seat (I’m like Elaine in that Seinfeld episode where she’s stuck in the subway and the lights go out, just move…JUST &%^*&^ MOVE….) well maybe not that much, but you get the drift. So I’m traveling with my boss and Kyle, who is fresh out of one of the universities here. This is his third week with us. This is his first time on a plane and he gets the 1.5 hour delay. You know you feel for him. So by the way, I cannot access this blog outside of work (did I mention that already), the proxy at work lets me connect. Normal ISP does not let me connect to my blog. So what this means to you slave drivers is that I can only upload picture and my text at work…yeah so either I do it on company time or after work.. Definitely not before work because I got enough trouble showing up on time, let alone early. That would be just asking to set myself up for failure.

So let’s get back to Tianjin. The hotel is the Renaissance and it has the softest bed since I got to China with ridiculously soft pillows and comforter. Beds here including the one at the apartment are pretty much wood frames with maybe an inch thick of foam at best. Let’s just say I am one happy camper and the Television has Batman Begins on TV. This is exactly what I needed after getting in at midnight instead of 10:30PM. I should be going to sleep but the TV addict that I am, I stay up, order a club sandwich and don’t get to bed t’ll 2:30 AM. Good thing I have a meeting on my project at 9:00 in the morning.

The meeting goes well. My books that I shipped from home are stuck in Customs so I gotta sort that out. And for lunch we go to this bar in Tianjin which is probably a couple hours of driving from Beijing and close to the sea. Tianjin city itself is about 1 hour from the plant which is located in TEDA (which is short for Tianjin Economic Development Zone)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Economic_Zone_of_the_People
If you are interested. Note that tax breaks are foreign companies not local…they are doing away with SEZs pretty soon I think. So anyways, TEDA itself is really nice (perfectly wide roads, not too much traffic, clean, smooth ride) but the city of Tianjin itself from what I’ve been told is not so nice.

So anyways, lunch, we go to a western restaurant (Belgian beer on tap, and they have cheesteaks and wings), too bad its lunch. So Kyle really hasn’t tried too much western food and he doesn’t really like it that much (or just hasn’t acquired a taste for it). Heck I remember having sausage patties for breakfast the first time, and it did taste funny. (Insert all types of sausage jokes in here you sick bastards). Just don’t fill up the comment section with obscenities, you can email those to me personally. I like that personal touch wink wink. So Kyle decides to order a sirloin steak (the most expensive thing on the menu). I kind of talk him out of it (yes on the down low, otherwise I’d be showing him up and being overall ass), and he decides on lasagna. And he hates it, and now I feel freaking terrible that he’s had a bad lunch on my account. But a sirloin? So that was an insight at culture for both of us. So we had a talk after dinner and he hints at regret for not liking western food. How he never really tried it that much (oh we ordered some patte for appetizer and he enjoyed that).

I’m thinking “are you kidding me dude, we should be the ones apologizing for being idiot fucks who refuse to adjust ourselves, shit we should be apologizing for not liking Chinese food” Anyways I think its good for him to get to like a little western food because you don’t want to be that close minded either. It works both ways. I am sure he will be dining out on western food as long as he is with the company.

So let’s get to dinner. So Tianjin is close ocean, and well ladies and gents, that means seafood time. We go to Zhou Ji Famous Restaurant. Zhou Family Famous Restaurant. Fresh Fish to pick from, anywhere from squid to toads to clams of all sorts, and live crabs, lobsters, and tons of other fish. And so we order four fresh crabs and Isabelle orders a soup made from fish stomach. So knock that off the weird food list that is not part of my usual western diet. What does fish stomach taste like? Well kinda tasteless, but it has the consistency of spongy cartilage. So all my gripes about Chinese food is absolutely gone today. Food was great and no food poisoning. The crab was awesome, brings back memories when we accidentally stole crabs from one of those crab traps during a summer day on the jersey shore (you know who you are) and had a crab boil. My first time and me trying to eat the gills. Ah memories. So holla at me with some crab cakes anyday over live crab or Alaskan crab legs or whatever. I hate all that work.

Got back to the hotel to see this African 3 piece band sign some covers. The lead singer was one of the skinniest women I have ever seen and she had some gorgeous braided hair (yes I used the word gorgeous to describe hair). Manhood…sexuality…both check. Just had to make sure there for myself….

So enjoy the pics. It’s a pain in the ass to upload and flickr is also blocked for me by the GreatFireWall. No joke, that’s what its called.

One month update

July 27, 2007-7-25
So this week work is pretty usual crap you know. I guess anywhere you get into a routine. But what was interesting was something that was personal. Normally when I visit a foreign country, I am all about trying the local stuff, the food, and immerse myself in the local culture as possible. Now, this time around, in China, I’m just not about it. Yesterday after my language lesson, I pretty much refused to eat at a local restaurant. I would say 80% of the reason is that I cannot trust local restaurants to provide me a safe experience. I’m just afraid of food poisoning. Now the place that I had that ridiculous barbeque, that was as local as you get and I was good after that. Yesterday I settled on a Cuban sandwich at a Cuban restaurant. If I went local, I would have had the same amount of food probably for half the price. The other part of it is that I am not a huge fan of shanghainese food, it’s pretty unhealthy, and to me not that good. So there is taste itself which has never been an issue in the past. I like all types of food, apparently not Shanghainese. The scarier thought is that I am getting old and getting set in my ways. This will have to be remedied. I don’t prefer to be set in my ways, I mean certain things of course, but not of cultural preferences.. I think it will get me that much close to cultural bigotry which of course is still a ways away.

It has been one month now since I have been in Shanghai. The main reason I am here is to learn the language. Plain and Simple. Pretty much everything is secondary. Now if that is the main goal, I have to give myself an F so far. I know certain phrases, but the effort I have put in is quite terrible.

My attitude, my well being outside of work. I live in a temporary apartment which is certainly cramping my style. I eat out because I don’t feel like buying cooking stuff (nor have I had the time to cook) and then having to move it all. Right now, I have 3 suitcases and a book bag. So that would be pretty easy. I’ve been pretty busy 7 days a week for the entire month. Any chance to relax I ruined by watching multiple episodes of House on DVD. This weekend, I will get back from Tianjin, a plant we have close to Beijing. So Friday night, I haven’t decided weather to go out or go home and just sleep. Saturday the entire day is swamped. 12:00 PM bball, 1:30 Ultimate, 5:00 PM a work party at the boss’s place. Sunday hopefully will be relaxing. So my attitude is tired, needing a chance to sit down and put some time aside for language and also think about what’s after China. I’ll be here for a while, but this has been my goal for a long time, but what next? Wander the earth like Kane (from Kung Fu- the legend not the Bible)? And you know I’m crazy enough to do it.

A guide to Hong Kong

So I think Hong Kong is a much more mature city than Shanghai. Shanghai in the modern age isn’t really that old, only since 1997 has Shanghai been able to develop freely. So, it will take some time to establish certain things like a hip night life scene, and in Shanghai things change so quickly that “scenes” aren’t given time to develop. If it is not making money, then the plug is pulled and something that might take time to develop a reputation would be prematurely terminated. The subway system is not as efficient as Hong Kong. I cannot remember the details of the NYC subway system, but if you’re going to build a subway system, hire the guys from Hong Kong, freaking awesome, and unlike NYC, the Hong Kong subway is pristine, so is Shanghai’s.

So tips to visiting in Hong Kong

Where to Stay: somewhere in Tsim Sha tsu or Central or Admiralty. You are close to most major subway lines main attractions. Causeway bay was just far away from everywere we anted to be. Oh tidbit, The street on Causeway bay is second only in store space rental price to Fifth Avenue in NYC. Some serious money rolls around in Hong Kong.
Travel: Get the octopus card for 300 Hong Kong which gets you a round trip to and from the airport on the Airport Express (24 minutes to central) and 72 hours of unlimited subway travel from the time you get it. Taxis aren’t bad either but be careful not to get ripped. We had a cabbie try to rip us off and it’s hard to yell at the dude because you don’t speak the alngauge. He dropped us off, and we gave him what was the proper fare (he was driving us in circles around our hotel and refused to stop when we tried to get out, screw him) and walked out of the cab. Overall though, the cabs are pretty good
What to do: shopping in Mong Kok, or Trafford Plaza in Kowloon Bay, great mall there, you owe it yourself to get some Peking Duck or Begger’s chicken at Spring Deer on 42 Mody road in Tsim Sha Tsui. Exit M2 at the Tsim Sha Tsui subway stop. It’s on the second floor and you just have to get to the second floor from the 48 building. Beggar’s chicken has to be ordered probably about half a day in adavnace. Peking Duck takes half an hour. Also, you’re in Hong Kong, Dim Sum (for brunch, not dinner). Check out the Peak, hit up Stanley Market (which I will next time) you can even have Dinner at the Peak. You can make a great evening out of SoHo with dinner and going out. There you have a great 3 day weekend. You’re welcome

So all in all, if you could pick shanghai or Hong Kong, check out Hong Kong. At least for now, who knows that might all change in a few years.

HK BehBeh (that's HK baby)

So this weekend was Hong Kong for a visa trip. Don’t you just hate automatic windows updates. I mean don’t shut my computer down while I’m in the middle of something without giving me a damn choice…”you have five minutes before your computer shuts down” thanks jerks. I’m looking at you Eb, what’s my solution here?

So Dragon Air, codeshare with Cathay pacific. Excellent service, good meal (economy), well recommended. We got hagan dass ice cream for desert, strawberry for me thanks you kindly, I’m on a strict diet and everything. Coffee? Could you leave the pitcher please?

And now we’re back after that everso useful security update. So we land, go through customs, no hassle, walk right out, excellent. Get on the airport express train and we’re in the main city area in 24 minutes. Oh man I almost forgot. So back in Shanghai, there is a magnetic levitation train (maglev for short) that takes you to the airport in about 6 minutes. Normally by car it takes at least an hour or so, and if traffic is high, well fuggataboutit. So lets say on a Friday afternoon, daddy wasn’t taking no chances (how’s that for grammer you English nuts?) So maglev it is, oh man smooth ride, and the top speed reached was 431 km/hr. Excellent, but apparently, the payback period on this investment will be something awful like 160 years at the current rate of use. Hopefully it will pick up. It’s cheaper than a taxi and faster. The only thing is if you have lots of luggage, it could be a hassle. But one large suitcase and a carryon and backpack can easily be done. So for domestic and most international travels this should be pretty good. So anyways, that’s the maglev story.

So back to HK. We get out of the subway, the subway is much better designed than the one in Shanghai. For transfers you just walk across the exit platform and there is it is, and it’s there within 2 minutes if not right there. In Shanghai, currently there are only 4 lines, and the main ones I use are 1 and 2. and that transfer is at least a few minute walk. And people wait in line to get on the train, and there are lanes designated to where to stand and where to keep free so that passengers can get out of the train. The British queues gents. Already I’ve got the feeling that Hong Kong is going to be better than Shanghai.

We walk out of the subway into Causeway bay which is on the east end of Hong Kong. (insert map link). And we walk out and boom, people everywhere, a sea of humanity, trite, but true. Neons, shops, food, it’s a bustling and it’s 10:00 on a Friday night. Good times ahead certainly. So we get to our hotel, it’s supposed to be a five star according to the travel agent. And I have decided that when I am in Asia, after that Yu Yao trip earlier, I’m not taking any chances with anything below a 4 star. So the hotel room is nothing spectacular, our view (I am traveling with my friend Jon who also needs visa stuff) is a parking garage. Ladies, I know you feelin that. The bathrooms are clean and the beds are made, its good. Not that much different than the Hilton I stayed in Las Vegas, a little smaller. Clean bed, clean bathroom, we good. We get a little washed up and we hit the town for a late late dinner and hopefully some trouble (the good kind). Since we don’t know the area at all, we just wander around and find Itmae-Sushi. A chain, but good stuff. Sushi meal that filled us up just right, $15 U.S. a pice. Not bad. So now we are off to search for some trouble. There are lots of high rises with bars and restaurants on each floor. So you have to go into the doorway and start looking. Good to have a hotel guidebook with you or the ripped off page of the places of interest, much easier to carry. Classic Pub is a small little joint which is smoky but friendly staff. I was told that the drinks are a little watered down. It was a quiet night and we played a few card games. One of the regulars was a real nice guy and he came over chatted with us in broken English, and we left there for bed.

Slept in t’ll about 10 or so and had some dinner at a place called Windsor house which is real close to Victoria Park and right next to the park lane hotel. Hard to find someone who spoke English there, but it was done, and we got an English menu and we were off to the races. The food was okay, better luck at the Crystal Jade, which is a chain that you can find in Shanghai as well, but serves good food, very efficient, and can almost always get an English speaking waiter and server. You pay for it with the price. Our meal at the local place was $7.50 U.S a piece, and at the Windsor it ended up being almost double that. So after a breakfast of dimsum, we went to Mong Kok which is known for its cheap shopping. My man needed an IPOD but he wanted to buy from an authorized shop just so he was guaranteed maintenance on the product. There are plenty of stores including local chains like “Fortress” and “Broadway” that sell IPODS but they are not licensed dealers. The fear of being ripped off ( and it is a real one) permits one from dealing with those stores. All purchases are final at the bargaining stores. Risk vs. Reward as always. Anyways, we hardly buy anything, more just window shopping, and we are pretty exhausted by the shopping (I did buy a decent golf shirt).

Now the fun starts. We are starved and upon the recommendation from the hotel guidebook we hit up Spring Deer, a restaurant that specializes in northern Chinese cooking, read Peking Duck. Now Peking Duck traditionally is a make your own tortilla of crispy duck skin, scallions, and cucumber with a soybased barbeque sauce. The meat is served later. Here at the Spring Deer, they slice the meat with the skin and serve it to you and you make your tortilla. Scrumptious? Yes.. We ordered enough food to comfortably feed three people and we ate it all. We walk out satisfied and head back to the hotel to powder our noses and get ready for all dem ladies. (rolling my eyes as well). You seen my nose recently? Holy cow that thing is hideous, more like a giant bird’s beak or something. Plus that and not shaving for three days makes me look like a real winner. I hate shaving. So we lace up our party boots (Saucony Grid V, my personal choice) and head out to Soho (just ask a cabbie to take you to Elgin Street) and we hit a nice mellow lounge, the Peak Bar. Excellent random choice. Nice relaxed atmosphere talked had a couple drinks and lets be out suckas.

So we walk down the area is on a hill so its terraced streets with tons of restaurants and clubs, lounges, bars. What’s the ling-go these days. Oh yeah, let’s get it on. Everything is open, no cover charges and you can go from place to place to try out salsa, hip hop, classic American, techno whatever you’re into. So we first go to a salsa bar and my ineptness at the whole thing compared to really good people force me to leave and try out the hip hop place. And you know, you know your boy can and will bust a move. Make that several hundred moves t’ll literally six in the morn. Well after 4 or so we hit a live music bar where the cover band kicked some serious ass. Hong Kong Holla. I’ve got to stop saying stupid stuff like that. Shanghai does not have this scene. We get to this later. We met a few foreigners that we struck up conversations and partied with them. new zelanders, Americans, trinis, germans, les francaises. Friendly most of them.. Shout out to Vivian from Vancouver, didn’t get to say goodbye, but mad cool.

So next day wake up at twelve, and Jon doesn’t get up t’ll 2. lazy bum…I went looking for a church unsuccessfully for about an hour and met up with Jon. and we walk around forever trying to find an American style diner, got a craving for hashbrowns like a mofo. No dice. I’m hot, f’n tired and we settle on an Italian restaurant and ordered portugese chicken. Go figure After some rest, we headed out to the Peak which gives a fantastic view of Hong Kong nightline. Holy cow, the pics don’t do justice because my camera is terrible for stuff like this. So if you’re in Hong Kong, you owe it yourself to go check out the Peak at night. Just ask a hotel concierge, they’ll tell you exactly how to get there. Try to avoid Sundays because everybody goes there then, if you’re with friends, then the wait is not so bad. The view is absolutely worth the price of admission about $5 U.S for a round trip ticket. Take the subway to wanchai and you can walk upto the Tram station or take a bus to Kennedy Station. Either way works or just take the cab all the way there.. Being the cheap bastard I am, you know what I did. An ice cream and some pics later, hit up SOho again for a late night Nepalese dinner. Extremly close to Indian food, good place, right below elgin street.

Monday was uneventful because it was doing the Visa stuff and some shopping (no not for anybody else, just me, you know why? Cause I’m selfish like that). Heck with everybody else, just me, that’s how I roll.

Oh man I almost forgot after DimSum on Saturday, we got hair cuts, let’s say that my awful afro isn’t exactly what the doctor ordered for the Shanghai summer H&H (heat and humidity for all you old folk). So this haricut cost me about $30 U.S. It took 2 freaking hours. First “the stylist” takes his sweet time cutting my hair, he’s meticulous as heck, and then I get this shampoo/condidtioner/head massage treatment that took a good 20 minutes. This way all the hair was completely washed out and I didn’t have to go back and take a shower. Now the hair cut itself, it was good, a solid 7 out of 10, but definitely not worth wasting 2 hours of my life. Give me David from Columbus who can do a better job in about 20 minutes tops and only costs me $11. Now that’s how it should be.

June 9 Week

July 9-11

My apologies to the faithful.

Sorry about the lack of blogging. Work was hectic and I’ve had to do afew things. I was afraid of this. I’ll try not to let this happen again. So here you are, this should tide you over for a while…


Another week of training, but this time in the plant. This stuff is pretty simple. It’s just a whole lot of mixing and dispersing. Sheer lots of sheer. And that’s about it. I mean compared to electrolytic reactors, Fixed bed reactors, distillation columns, extraction columns, oxidation, vacuum crystallization, this stuff is pretty simple. But when you underestimate the fucker, it’ll bite you in the ass. The biggest obstacle here is the quality checks of the product and the short lead times. One of the businesses has 760 customers, can you believe that crap, all from one plant. That is a logistical, customer service, operational, quality control night mare. As one of the guys here says, just a plain nightmare.

Language and cultural barrier. Had an interesting conversation with one of the lab techs. He just graduated from a university here with a chemE degree. He works as a tech and he was helping me with the process. His English is pretty good, but it is selective. He can have conversations about the weather and stuff and I can see how he has practiced it. He ended questions with “isn’t it?” Really nice guy. Wah Da or peter is his English name. Some Chinese people have English names and some do not. The ones that do not, the first name is their family/surname. So for example Fu Yi Lin, Fu is the family name. Yi Lin is his first name. Oh and Prison Break is hugely popular. Let me tell y’all about DVDs, I can get the entire Sopranos series, not just a single season, but the whole 6 seasons (7 if I wait a year), for about 30 bucks, now that’s terrifying news for a recovering TV addict. All the stuff in theaters I can get if I want a handheld grainy version. Once the DVDs come out, you can get these for like $1. You have to be careful of the street vendors though, it’s better to ask people who have been here for a while and ask where they go. There is a place called Oscar’s that is supposed to be pretty good. I am still fighting the moral dilemma of getting these suckers. Yeah I’m laughing too. That was a good one wasn’t it? No seriously, what the eff?

Four days of training at the same plant as last week. I got to play MahJong (not majan) again with some guys at the plant who promptly took me to school. The first night I wasn’t the worse player, but wasn’t far off, but the second night, oooh boy. It was so bad, the next time, they want to play for money. I wish I was hustling them, but to hustle them, you have to be able to play well when the money is on the line…well what’s the exact opposite of hustling? Oh yeah that’s right, sucking.

The weekend was pretty good. Friday night we just went out to random places, nothing crazy and went home. Saturday I played Ultimate and BBall. My dogs(which means feet for those who do not speak jive) were tired after that. Took a short nap, got cleaned up and met up with Ryan and Jason and Jason’s friend from Taiwan, Jason, who runs an import/export business…yeah that’s right somebody who actually does import export. We go to a brazilian steak house. For all you carnivores such as myself out there, heaven’s got to have places like this. They just keep bringing you barbequed meat, chicken, lamb, pork, beef and so many different cuts of beef, grilled bananas, pineapple, holy cow. For those of you didn’t catch that, it’s all you can eat…. It will take at least 2 whole days for my body to process all this meat and food. Then we go play some pool, still getting schooled, night club MT which is pretty good. Live performances, Dancers, cool DJ. The main host is this black dude from the States and he is freaking fluent in Chinese, I mean no accent, (not that I’m a great expert at judging Chinese accents), Jason told me he used to be a VJ on Chinese music television. At one point he took his wallet out started wadding up 100 RMBs ($15 U.S.) and just starts throwing it into the crowd. He threw about a $150 total into the crowd, not mmuch, but still pretty cool. They had a bathing suit contest, winner gets 10,000 RMB. I tried to take some videos, but my behind the camera skills are awful, so it just gave me a head ache trying to rewatch it. Erase button please. So the night ends up pretty good, left at the perfect time, but the lesson learned, do not wear sandals to a club. Just don’t do it. It’s not work the risk of some idiot throwing up and you having to walk through it because there is no other way to go….It was awful Just plain awful. Besides a broken glass, you stepping on it, might mean Hep C.

Next weekend Hong Kong.

I'm Chevy Chase and you're not

I swear, if one more person calls me fat….you know who I’m going to blame for the bulimic anorexia I develop. I hate you all.

Well, check out the pictures. A thousand words indeed. Oh those who haven’t read Hunter S. Thompson, check that stuff out. Holy cow what a writer. I remember reading a few of his articles a few years back and not really “getting” it, but then I read “Better than Sex” and I can’t tell what’s real, whats true, but I read that thing in like 2 hours or something, and I’m a slow reader. This is how fast I would read on speed, probably what he was on when he wrote it.

The party was a regular party, nothing crazy, other than of course the pig. Now the pig was really just a shell, almost really just the head, feet, rib cage. The rest of the meat wasn’t there, you kow the shoulder, the loin, the good stuff. The skin was baked crisp and cut into squares, so you took it off, slice off a little rib meet, put some scallions on it, dip it in sauce, and BAM, eat your heart of Lagasse, you bald hair dying bastard. (I am officially gay for paying that much attention to Emeril’s hair).

Played some basketball with an international league here. More social than competitive. We lost by 13 or something. I think I had like 4 turnovers, one assist, and 2 points. Hell of a stat line. If it wasn’t that lone assist as time ran out, the assist to turn over ratio would be infinity or is it undefined? Either way it’s horrifying.

Then I went and played some badminton, now this isn’t your grandpa’s hang out in the lawn and see how many times you can rally on a lazy Saturday afternoon waiting for the burgers on the grill badminton. Instead let’s play inside a gym with a temperature and humidity both reach 80 (F) and if you’re not careful you might lose an eye. (I was told of a friend who had to be taken to the hospital and wear an eye patch for a couple weeks). Play there for a good hour and the streets of shanghai is an air conditioned haven. Dehydration = mild migrane that lasts the rest of the day.

Need to work on my pool game. I am getting taken to school out here. I am terrible so these guys aren’t that good, but they’re a lot better than me, and well we just can’t have that. Naaahmean? Yeah 6th grade. Come on loaded baked potato for 50 cents and 3 otis spunkmeyers for a dollar. Heart attack special lunch for a 1.50? yes indeed.

Oh so I’m getting driven to a plant as I write this and my man is definitely going about 75 on the shoulder and there’s a cop right in front of us, way to merge over my man. No we don’t get pulled over. But that was interesting. See if I drove here, there is a 100% chance of vehicular manslaughter. It could be me, or it could be somebody else, either way there’s gonna be a funeral. So there you have your pictures. The “wedding” pictures are not in my possession just yet.

Went to a church on Sunday. No service, just an empty building, but I got there in the afternoon. Beautiful catholic church. Wonder how that works with the whole one baby/ family planning policy. My stomach is officially sick on this ride. Okay maybe I should stop writing. I might or might not throw up. Stay tuned.