Monday, September 10, 2007

Golden Arches of Deliciousness


Random Constrution: The streets are being dug up everywhere. this used to be a pretty busy steet. Now the street is on the other side of the blue wall.
We’ll get to the title in a second. I walk into my favorite restaurant, City Diner, and see that the lower level is being gutted for construction, I pay it no mind, I came back two days later and we got a brand new wall, it’s ridiculous how fast construction can happen in China. But here’s the problem, all that haste makes some serious waste. Waste in the sense that things are done haphazardly a lot. Our plant, little over a year old, the paint has started coming off, high profile visible cracks, etc. Don’t get me wrong, some of the construction here is probably the best in the world. I mean take a look at any of the work in Pudong or at Tomorrow Square building, it is realy kick ass, but there is a lot of work that is done hastily and shabbily. Your apartment building can start cracking up paint or pealing anytime, so in my rent agreements I have to have clauses in there to protect myself that I did not have to have in the past. Let’s just say I really don’t feel like trying the legal system here without those specific clauses. Thursday I had dinner with a couple of friends and we had crawfish boil. Oh man I love crawfish. We got it asian style instead of Cajun style. Some with curry, and some with ginger and black pepper. Good stuff. Oh and you get plastic gloves so your hands don’t get dirty. So after dinner we decide to go down to the local DVD store which my friends say is only a 10 minute walk, 30 minutes later (thanks guys), we finally get there. I settle on a bad quality version of the simpsons movie. I had to seriously get out of there before I got another TV show and ended up pulling an all-nighter. TV show DVDs, especially TV shows with a continuing story for the entire season, kill me because I can’t stop myself from going to the next episode, before I know it and 12 hours later, my living room look scene from the Lord of the Flies, and all I’m missing is Piggy and his glasses to build a fire. Oh by the way, can the Phils fuck up in anymore cruel fashion. I hate our bullpen, I hate them with a passion, what the hell. We kick the Mets ass and follow it up with getting our pants pulled down against the Braves. I read about the loss where we gave up a 5-0 lead and then came back to lead it again, and then lost it in the ninth or something ridiculous like that. Hey I know what we can do to shore up our pitching. We’ll make a huge free agent signing, and not give the guy a physical, and find out after the guy blows his arm out for the year, that he was hurt when he signed the motherfucking contract. And we still keep paying him while he does nothing for us. If that is not negligence in doing your fucking job as a general manager, well shit then my name is King fucking Kong and I like to climb on top the empire state building and swat angrily at biplanes whizzing by and eventually fall to my death as I realize the love of my life is beautiful blonde bombshell while I am just a giant fucking hairy ass ape. FUCK. I HATE THE PHILLIES. Our best pitcher is hurt and our second best pitcher (Kendrick is probably our best starter) is a 44 year old wily veteran who has an ERA over 5. now I can take that as our fifth starter like the Wake in Boston, but for crying out loud. Jamie Moyer, “ I aint’ mad atchya I ain’t got nothing but love for ya”, but I just can’t be having you as my 2nd starter that’s all. So imagine flame throwing knee buckling pitching ability of our 4th and 5th starters. And you know what, there isn’t a damn player in free agency that can help us. Where the hell is my spicy Indian food so I smear it all in my eyes. While we’re at it, can we just fucking fire greg lewis and his goffy ass self. I’m sorry but that motherfucker needs to go, and two miffed punt in one game and one is with less than 2 minutes in the game. So you’re telling me 4 preseason games isn’t enough to decide on a punt returner, ladies and gentlemen: I give you the legendary pre-game preparation of Andy (I wish I knew his middle name) Reid. Why why did my parents have to move to philly when I was a kid, WHY? WHY? I’m destined to just root for teams that torture my soul and seriously test the depths of my sanity. Look what you have made me Philly Sports, LOOK WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE DONE TO ME. You have made me a stark raving lunatic.
Okay back to China, sorry about that folks. I’m still angry, but I am a hollow reed and trouble passes through me like that wind. Fucking motherfucking monkey ball shit, fuck., just one fucking championship just one, is that too much to ask? I have to go now. I need prozac stat.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

my favourite post ever.