Tianjin

Oh by the way, the flight I’m supposed to take today, the first domestic one, from Shanghai to Tianjin has been delayed for almost an hour now. Make that freaking 1.5 hours, after we boarded on time. And I’m in the middle seat (I’m like Elaine in that Seinfeld episode where she’s stuck in the subway and the lights go out, just move…JUST &%^*&^ MOVE….) well maybe not that much, but you get the drift. So I’m traveling with my boss and Kyle, who is fresh out of one of the universities here. This is his third week with us. This is his first time on a plane and he gets the 1.5 hour delay. You know you feel for him. So by the way, I cannot access this blog outside of work (did I mention that already), the proxy at work lets me connect. Normal ISP does not let me connect to my blog. So what this means to you slave drivers is that I can only upload picture and my text at work…yeah so either I do it on company time or after work.. Definitely not before work because I got enough trouble showing up on time, let alone early. That would be just asking to set myself up for failure.

So let’s get back to Tianjin. The hotel is the Renaissance and it has the softest bed since I got to China with ridiculously soft pillows and comforter. Beds here including the one at the apartment are pretty much wood frames with maybe an inch thick of foam at best. Let’s just say I am one happy camper and the Television has Batman Begins on TV. This is exactly what I needed after getting in at midnight instead of 10:30PM. I should be going to sleep but the TV addict that I am, I stay up, order a club sandwich and don’t get to bed t’ll 2:30 AM. Good thing I have a meeting on my project at 9:00 in the morning.

The meeting goes well. My books that I shipped from home are stuck in Customs so I gotta sort that out. And for lunch we go to this bar in Tianjin which is probably a couple hours of driving from Beijing and close to the sea. Tianjin city itself is about 1 hour from the plant which is located in TEDA (which is short for Tianjin Economic Development Zone)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special_Economic_Zone_of_the_People
If you are interested. Note that tax breaks are foreign companies not local…they are doing away with SEZs pretty soon I think. So anyways, TEDA itself is really nice (perfectly wide roads, not too much traffic, clean, smooth ride) but the city of Tianjin itself from what I’ve been told is not so nice.

So anyways, lunch, we go to a western restaurant (Belgian beer on tap, and they have cheesteaks and wings), too bad its lunch. So Kyle really hasn’t tried too much western food and he doesn’t really like it that much (or just hasn’t acquired a taste for it). Heck I remember having sausage patties for breakfast the first time, and it did taste funny. (Insert all types of sausage jokes in here you sick bastards). Just don’t fill up the comment section with obscenities, you can email those to me personally. I like that personal touch wink wink. So Kyle decides to order a sirloin steak (the most expensive thing on the menu). I kind of talk him out of it (yes on the down low, otherwise I’d be showing him up and being overall ass), and he decides on lasagna. And he hates it, and now I feel freaking terrible that he’s had a bad lunch on my account. But a sirloin? So that was an insight at culture for both of us. So we had a talk after dinner and he hints at regret for not liking western food. How he never really tried it that much (oh we ordered some patte for appetizer and he enjoyed that).

I’m thinking “are you kidding me dude, we should be the ones apologizing for being idiot fucks who refuse to adjust ourselves, shit we should be apologizing for not liking Chinese food” Anyways I think its good for him to get to like a little western food because you don’t want to be that close minded either. It works both ways. I am sure he will be dining out on western food as long as he is with the company.

So let’s get to dinner. So Tianjin is close ocean, and well ladies and gents, that means seafood time. We go to Zhou Ji Famous Restaurant. Zhou Family Famous Restaurant. Fresh Fish to pick from, anywhere from squid to toads to clams of all sorts, and live crabs, lobsters, and tons of other fish. And so we order four fresh crabs and Isabelle orders a soup made from fish stomach. So knock that off the weird food list that is not part of my usual western diet. What does fish stomach taste like? Well kinda tasteless, but it has the consistency of spongy cartilage. So all my gripes about Chinese food is absolutely gone today. Food was great and no food poisoning. The crab was awesome, brings back memories when we accidentally stole crabs from one of those crab traps during a summer day on the jersey shore (you know who you are) and had a crab boil. My first time and me trying to eat the gills. Ah memories. So holla at me with some crab cakes anyday over live crab or Alaskan crab legs or whatever. I hate all that work.

Got back to the hotel to see this African 3 piece band sign some covers. The lead singer was one of the skinniest women I have ever seen and she had some gorgeous braided hair (yes I used the word gorgeous to describe hair). Manhood…sexuality…both check. Just had to make sure there for myself….

So enjoy the pics. It’s a pain in the ass to upload and flickr is also blocked for me by the GreatFireWall. No joke, that’s what its called.

One month update

July 27, 2007-7-25
So this week work is pretty usual crap you know. I guess anywhere you get into a routine. But what was interesting was something that was personal. Normally when I visit a foreign country, I am all about trying the local stuff, the food, and immerse myself in the local culture as possible. Now, this time around, in China, I’m just not about it. Yesterday after my language lesson, I pretty much refused to eat at a local restaurant. I would say 80% of the reason is that I cannot trust local restaurants to provide me a safe experience. I’m just afraid of food poisoning. Now the place that I had that ridiculous barbeque, that was as local as you get and I was good after that. Yesterday I settled on a Cuban sandwich at a Cuban restaurant. If I went local, I would have had the same amount of food probably for half the price. The other part of it is that I am not a huge fan of shanghainese food, it’s pretty unhealthy, and to me not that good. So there is taste itself which has never been an issue in the past. I like all types of food, apparently not Shanghainese. The scarier thought is that I am getting old and getting set in my ways. This will have to be remedied. I don’t prefer to be set in my ways, I mean certain things of course, but not of cultural preferences.. I think it will get me that much close to cultural bigotry which of course is still a ways away.

It has been one month now since I have been in Shanghai. The main reason I am here is to learn the language. Plain and Simple. Pretty much everything is secondary. Now if that is the main goal, I have to give myself an F so far. I know certain phrases, but the effort I have put in is quite terrible.

My attitude, my well being outside of work. I live in a temporary apartment which is certainly cramping my style. I eat out because I don’t feel like buying cooking stuff (nor have I had the time to cook) and then having to move it all. Right now, I have 3 suitcases and a book bag. So that would be pretty easy. I’ve been pretty busy 7 days a week for the entire month. Any chance to relax I ruined by watching multiple episodes of House on DVD. This weekend, I will get back from Tianjin, a plant we have close to Beijing. So Friday night, I haven’t decided weather to go out or go home and just sleep. Saturday the entire day is swamped. 12:00 PM bball, 1:30 Ultimate, 5:00 PM a work party at the boss’s place. Sunday hopefully will be relaxing. So my attitude is tired, needing a chance to sit down and put some time aside for language and also think about what’s after China. I’ll be here for a while, but this has been my goal for a long time, but what next? Wander the earth like Kane (from Kung Fu- the legend not the Bible)? And you know I’m crazy enough to do it.

A guide to Hong Kong

So I think Hong Kong is a much more mature city than Shanghai. Shanghai in the modern age isn’t really that old, only since 1997 has Shanghai been able to develop freely. So, it will take some time to establish certain things like a hip night life scene, and in Shanghai things change so quickly that “scenes” aren’t given time to develop. If it is not making money, then the plug is pulled and something that might take time to develop a reputation would be prematurely terminated. The subway system is not as efficient as Hong Kong. I cannot remember the details of the NYC subway system, but if you’re going to build a subway system, hire the guys from Hong Kong, freaking awesome, and unlike NYC, the Hong Kong subway is pristine, so is Shanghai’s.

So tips to visiting in Hong Kong

Where to Stay: somewhere in Tsim Sha tsu or Central or Admiralty. You are close to most major subway lines main attractions. Causeway bay was just far away from everywere we anted to be. Oh tidbit, The street on Causeway bay is second only in store space rental price to Fifth Avenue in NYC. Some serious money rolls around in Hong Kong.
Travel: Get the octopus card for 300 Hong Kong which gets you a round trip to and from the airport on the Airport Express (24 minutes to central) and 72 hours of unlimited subway travel from the time you get it. Taxis aren’t bad either but be careful not to get ripped. We had a cabbie try to rip us off and it’s hard to yell at the dude because you don’t speak the alngauge. He dropped us off, and we gave him what was the proper fare (he was driving us in circles around our hotel and refused to stop when we tried to get out, screw him) and walked out of the cab. Overall though, the cabs are pretty good
What to do: shopping in Mong Kok, or Trafford Plaza in Kowloon Bay, great mall there, you owe it yourself to get some Peking Duck or Begger’s chicken at Spring Deer on 42 Mody road in Tsim Sha Tsui. Exit M2 at the Tsim Sha Tsui subway stop. It’s on the second floor and you just have to get to the second floor from the 48 building. Beggar’s chicken has to be ordered probably about half a day in adavnace. Peking Duck takes half an hour. Also, you’re in Hong Kong, Dim Sum (for brunch, not dinner). Check out the Peak, hit up Stanley Market (which I will next time) you can even have Dinner at the Peak. You can make a great evening out of SoHo with dinner and going out. There you have a great 3 day weekend. You’re welcome

So all in all, if you could pick shanghai or Hong Kong, check out Hong Kong. At least for now, who knows that might all change in a few years.

HK BehBeh (that's HK baby)

So this weekend was Hong Kong for a visa trip. Don’t you just hate automatic windows updates. I mean don’t shut my computer down while I’m in the middle of something without giving me a damn choice…”you have five minutes before your computer shuts down” thanks jerks. I’m looking at you Eb, what’s my solution here?

So Dragon Air, codeshare with Cathay pacific. Excellent service, good meal (economy), well recommended. We got hagan dass ice cream for desert, strawberry for me thanks you kindly, I’m on a strict diet and everything. Coffee? Could you leave the pitcher please?

And now we’re back after that everso useful security update. So we land, go through customs, no hassle, walk right out, excellent. Get on the airport express train and we’re in the main city area in 24 minutes. Oh man I almost forgot. So back in Shanghai, there is a magnetic levitation train (maglev for short) that takes you to the airport in about 6 minutes. Normally by car it takes at least an hour or so, and if traffic is high, well fuggataboutit. So lets say on a Friday afternoon, daddy wasn’t taking no chances (how’s that for grammer you English nuts?) So maglev it is, oh man smooth ride, and the top speed reached was 431 km/hr. Excellent, but apparently, the payback period on this investment will be something awful like 160 years at the current rate of use. Hopefully it will pick up. It’s cheaper than a taxi and faster. The only thing is if you have lots of luggage, it could be a hassle. But one large suitcase and a carryon and backpack can easily be done. So for domestic and most international travels this should be pretty good. So anyways, that’s the maglev story.

So back to HK. We get out of the subway, the subway is much better designed than the one in Shanghai. For transfers you just walk across the exit platform and there is it is, and it’s there within 2 minutes if not right there. In Shanghai, currently there are only 4 lines, and the main ones I use are 1 and 2. and that transfer is at least a few minute walk. And people wait in line to get on the train, and there are lanes designated to where to stand and where to keep free so that passengers can get out of the train. The British queues gents. Already I’ve got the feeling that Hong Kong is going to be better than Shanghai.

We walk out of the subway into Causeway bay which is on the east end of Hong Kong. (insert map link). And we walk out and boom, people everywhere, a sea of humanity, trite, but true. Neons, shops, food, it’s a bustling and it’s 10:00 on a Friday night. Good times ahead certainly. So we get to our hotel, it’s supposed to be a five star according to the travel agent. And I have decided that when I am in Asia, after that Yu Yao trip earlier, I’m not taking any chances with anything below a 4 star. So the hotel room is nothing spectacular, our view (I am traveling with my friend Jon who also needs visa stuff) is a parking garage. Ladies, I know you feelin that. The bathrooms are clean and the beds are made, its good. Not that much different than the Hilton I stayed in Las Vegas, a little smaller. Clean bed, clean bathroom, we good. We get a little washed up and we hit the town for a late late dinner and hopefully some trouble (the good kind). Since we don’t know the area at all, we just wander around and find Itmae-Sushi. A chain, but good stuff. Sushi meal that filled us up just right, $15 U.S. a pice. Not bad. So now we are off to search for some trouble. There are lots of high rises with bars and restaurants on each floor. So you have to go into the doorway and start looking. Good to have a hotel guidebook with you or the ripped off page of the places of interest, much easier to carry. Classic Pub is a small little joint which is smoky but friendly staff. I was told that the drinks are a little watered down. It was a quiet night and we played a few card games. One of the regulars was a real nice guy and he came over chatted with us in broken English, and we left there for bed.

Slept in t’ll about 10 or so and had some dinner at a place called Windsor house which is real close to Victoria Park and right next to the park lane hotel. Hard to find someone who spoke English there, but it was done, and we got an English menu and we were off to the races. The food was okay, better luck at the Crystal Jade, which is a chain that you can find in Shanghai as well, but serves good food, very efficient, and can almost always get an English speaking waiter and server. You pay for it with the price. Our meal at the local place was $7.50 U.S a piece, and at the Windsor it ended up being almost double that. So after a breakfast of dimsum, we went to Mong Kok which is known for its cheap shopping. My man needed an IPOD but he wanted to buy from an authorized shop just so he was guaranteed maintenance on the product. There are plenty of stores including local chains like “Fortress” and “Broadway” that sell IPODS but they are not licensed dealers. The fear of being ripped off ( and it is a real one) permits one from dealing with those stores. All purchases are final at the bargaining stores. Risk vs. Reward as always. Anyways, we hardly buy anything, more just window shopping, and we are pretty exhausted by the shopping (I did buy a decent golf shirt).

Now the fun starts. We are starved and upon the recommendation from the hotel guidebook we hit up Spring Deer, a restaurant that specializes in northern Chinese cooking, read Peking Duck. Now Peking Duck traditionally is a make your own tortilla of crispy duck skin, scallions, and cucumber with a soybased barbeque sauce. The meat is served later. Here at the Spring Deer, they slice the meat with the skin and serve it to you and you make your tortilla. Scrumptious? Yes.. We ordered enough food to comfortably feed three people and we ate it all. We walk out satisfied and head back to the hotel to powder our noses and get ready for all dem ladies. (rolling my eyes as well). You seen my nose recently? Holy cow that thing is hideous, more like a giant bird’s beak or something. Plus that and not shaving for three days makes me look like a real winner. I hate shaving. So we lace up our party boots (Saucony Grid V, my personal choice) and head out to Soho (just ask a cabbie to take you to Elgin Street) and we hit a nice mellow lounge, the Peak Bar. Excellent random choice. Nice relaxed atmosphere talked had a couple drinks and lets be out suckas.

So we walk down the area is on a hill so its terraced streets with tons of restaurants and clubs, lounges, bars. What’s the ling-go these days. Oh yeah, let’s get it on. Everything is open, no cover charges and you can go from place to place to try out salsa, hip hop, classic American, techno whatever you’re into. So we first go to a salsa bar and my ineptness at the whole thing compared to really good people force me to leave and try out the hip hop place. And you know, you know your boy can and will bust a move. Make that several hundred moves t’ll literally six in the morn. Well after 4 or so we hit a live music bar where the cover band kicked some serious ass. Hong Kong Holla. I’ve got to stop saying stupid stuff like that. Shanghai does not have this scene. We get to this later. We met a few foreigners that we struck up conversations and partied with them. new zelanders, Americans, trinis, germans, les francaises. Friendly most of them.. Shout out to Vivian from Vancouver, didn’t get to say goodbye, but mad cool.

So next day wake up at twelve, and Jon doesn’t get up t’ll 2. lazy bum…I went looking for a church unsuccessfully for about an hour and met up with Jon. and we walk around forever trying to find an American style diner, got a craving for hashbrowns like a mofo. No dice. I’m hot, f’n tired and we settle on an Italian restaurant and ordered portugese chicken. Go figure After some rest, we headed out to the Peak which gives a fantastic view of Hong Kong nightline. Holy cow, the pics don’t do justice because my camera is terrible for stuff like this. So if you’re in Hong Kong, you owe it yourself to go check out the Peak at night. Just ask a hotel concierge, they’ll tell you exactly how to get there. Try to avoid Sundays because everybody goes there then, if you’re with friends, then the wait is not so bad. The view is absolutely worth the price of admission about $5 U.S for a round trip ticket. Take the subway to wanchai and you can walk upto the Tram station or take a bus to Kennedy Station. Either way works or just take the cab all the way there.. Being the cheap bastard I am, you know what I did. An ice cream and some pics later, hit up SOho again for a late night Nepalese dinner. Extremly close to Indian food, good place, right below elgin street.

Monday was uneventful because it was doing the Visa stuff and some shopping (no not for anybody else, just me, you know why? Cause I’m selfish like that). Heck with everybody else, just me, that’s how I roll.

Oh man I almost forgot after DimSum on Saturday, we got hair cuts, let’s say that my awful afro isn’t exactly what the doctor ordered for the Shanghai summer H&H (heat and humidity for all you old folk). So this haricut cost me about $30 U.S. It took 2 freaking hours. First “the stylist” takes his sweet time cutting my hair, he’s meticulous as heck, and then I get this shampoo/condidtioner/head massage treatment that took a good 20 minutes. This way all the hair was completely washed out and I didn’t have to go back and take a shower. Now the hair cut itself, it was good, a solid 7 out of 10, but definitely not worth wasting 2 hours of my life. Give me David from Columbus who can do a better job in about 20 minutes tops and only costs me $11. Now that’s how it should be.

June 9 Week

July 9-11

My apologies to the faithful.

Sorry about the lack of blogging. Work was hectic and I’ve had to do afew things. I was afraid of this. I’ll try not to let this happen again. So here you are, this should tide you over for a while…


Another week of training, but this time in the plant. This stuff is pretty simple. It’s just a whole lot of mixing and dispersing. Sheer lots of sheer. And that’s about it. I mean compared to electrolytic reactors, Fixed bed reactors, distillation columns, extraction columns, oxidation, vacuum crystallization, this stuff is pretty simple. But when you underestimate the fucker, it’ll bite you in the ass. The biggest obstacle here is the quality checks of the product and the short lead times. One of the businesses has 760 customers, can you believe that crap, all from one plant. That is a logistical, customer service, operational, quality control night mare. As one of the guys here says, just a plain nightmare.

Language and cultural barrier. Had an interesting conversation with one of the lab techs. He just graduated from a university here with a chemE degree. He works as a tech and he was helping me with the process. His English is pretty good, but it is selective. He can have conversations about the weather and stuff and I can see how he has practiced it. He ended questions with “isn’t it?” Really nice guy. Wah Da or peter is his English name. Some Chinese people have English names and some do not. The ones that do not, the first name is their family/surname. So for example Fu Yi Lin, Fu is the family name. Yi Lin is his first name. Oh and Prison Break is hugely popular. Let me tell y’all about DVDs, I can get the entire Sopranos series, not just a single season, but the whole 6 seasons (7 if I wait a year), for about 30 bucks, now that’s terrifying news for a recovering TV addict. All the stuff in theaters I can get if I want a handheld grainy version. Once the DVDs come out, you can get these for like $1. You have to be careful of the street vendors though, it’s better to ask people who have been here for a while and ask where they go. There is a place called Oscar’s that is supposed to be pretty good. I am still fighting the moral dilemma of getting these suckers. Yeah I’m laughing too. That was a good one wasn’t it? No seriously, what the eff?

Four days of training at the same plant as last week. I got to play MahJong (not majan) again with some guys at the plant who promptly took me to school. The first night I wasn’t the worse player, but wasn’t far off, but the second night, oooh boy. It was so bad, the next time, they want to play for money. I wish I was hustling them, but to hustle them, you have to be able to play well when the money is on the line…well what’s the exact opposite of hustling? Oh yeah that’s right, sucking.

The weekend was pretty good. Friday night we just went out to random places, nothing crazy and went home. Saturday I played Ultimate and BBall. My dogs(which means feet for those who do not speak jive) were tired after that. Took a short nap, got cleaned up and met up with Ryan and Jason and Jason’s friend from Taiwan, Jason, who runs an import/export business…yeah that’s right somebody who actually does import export. We go to a brazilian steak house. For all you carnivores such as myself out there, heaven’s got to have places like this. They just keep bringing you barbequed meat, chicken, lamb, pork, beef and so many different cuts of beef, grilled bananas, pineapple, holy cow. For those of you didn’t catch that, it’s all you can eat…. It will take at least 2 whole days for my body to process all this meat and food. Then we go play some pool, still getting schooled, night club MT which is pretty good. Live performances, Dancers, cool DJ. The main host is this black dude from the States and he is freaking fluent in Chinese, I mean no accent, (not that I’m a great expert at judging Chinese accents), Jason told me he used to be a VJ on Chinese music television. At one point he took his wallet out started wadding up 100 RMBs ($15 U.S.) and just starts throwing it into the crowd. He threw about a $150 total into the crowd, not mmuch, but still pretty cool. They had a bathing suit contest, winner gets 10,000 RMB. I tried to take some videos, but my behind the camera skills are awful, so it just gave me a head ache trying to rewatch it. Erase button please. So the night ends up pretty good, left at the perfect time, but the lesson learned, do not wear sandals to a club. Just don’t do it. It’s not work the risk of some idiot throwing up and you having to walk through it because there is no other way to go….It was awful Just plain awful. Besides a broken glass, you stepping on it, might mean Hep C.

Next weekend Hong Kong.

I'm Chevy Chase and you're not

I swear, if one more person calls me fat….you know who I’m going to blame for the bulimic anorexia I develop. I hate you all.

Well, check out the pictures. A thousand words indeed. Oh those who haven’t read Hunter S. Thompson, check that stuff out. Holy cow what a writer. I remember reading a few of his articles a few years back and not really “getting” it, but then I read “Better than Sex” and I can’t tell what’s real, whats true, but I read that thing in like 2 hours or something, and I’m a slow reader. This is how fast I would read on speed, probably what he was on when he wrote it.

The party was a regular party, nothing crazy, other than of course the pig. Now the pig was really just a shell, almost really just the head, feet, rib cage. The rest of the meat wasn’t there, you kow the shoulder, the loin, the good stuff. The skin was baked crisp and cut into squares, so you took it off, slice off a little rib meet, put some scallions on it, dip it in sauce, and BAM, eat your heart of Lagasse, you bald hair dying bastard. (I am officially gay for paying that much attention to Emeril’s hair).

Played some basketball with an international league here. More social than competitive. We lost by 13 or something. I think I had like 4 turnovers, one assist, and 2 points. Hell of a stat line. If it wasn’t that lone assist as time ran out, the assist to turn over ratio would be infinity or is it undefined? Either way it’s horrifying.

Then I went and played some badminton, now this isn’t your grandpa’s hang out in the lawn and see how many times you can rally on a lazy Saturday afternoon waiting for the burgers on the grill badminton. Instead let’s play inside a gym with a temperature and humidity both reach 80 (F) and if you’re not careful you might lose an eye. (I was told of a friend who had to be taken to the hospital and wear an eye patch for a couple weeks). Play there for a good hour and the streets of shanghai is an air conditioned haven. Dehydration = mild migrane that lasts the rest of the day.

Need to work on my pool game. I am getting taken to school out here. I am terrible so these guys aren’t that good, but they’re a lot better than me, and well we just can’t have that. Naaahmean? Yeah 6th grade. Come on loaded baked potato for 50 cents and 3 otis spunkmeyers for a dollar. Heart attack special lunch for a 1.50? yes indeed.

Oh so I’m getting driven to a plant as I write this and my man is definitely going about 75 on the shoulder and there’s a cop right in front of us, way to merge over my man. No we don’t get pulled over. But that was interesting. See if I drove here, there is a 100% chance of vehicular manslaughter. It could be me, or it could be somebody else, either way there’s gonna be a funeral. So there you have your pictures. The “wedding” pictures are not in my possession just yet.

Went to a church on Sunday. No service, just an empty building, but I got there in the afternoon. Beautiful catholic church. Wonder how that works with the whole one baby/ family planning policy. My stomach is officially sick on this ride. Okay maybe I should stop writing. I might or might not throw up. Stay tuned.

Green Grass is lovely, please cherish it with us

Title: Green Grass is lovely, please cherish it with us

The title is a random street sign translated in english. I think that’ll be the titles of each entry.

Work has been pretty good. So much information. Really cool stuff…in that nerd chemE sorta way. So I am getting training and I have to get quotes on this air heating unit. So all the American companies, Trane, York, Carrier, all have offices in Shanghai and well I try to give one of them a whirl. So I call the first company. Receptionist, speaks enough English to get me through the sales department. And my conversation with the sales guy went a little something like this…

Sales Guy: Wei?...(hello)
Me: Hello, is it okay if we speak English?
Sales Guy: Wei?........
Me: instinctively says “ Wei”
Sales Guy: Assuming I speak Chinese, he goes on for a good 10 seconds which to my ignorant ass sounds like “ shibashabashibahsabhao”
Me: Hel-lo, can we speak English please?
Sales Guy: stays silent for 5 seconds, then Click (probably thinking to himself, hey jackass how about you learn how to speak OUR language, at least that's what I would have thought).

So I keep plugging along and I finally get in touch with all three companies and get them to send me some information to find out that they don’t make what we need. I think you just need to be persistant and it just takes more time than usual. I am used to vendors knocking on my door, now I have to go chase these guys down without speaking the language. Damn direct fire air heaters.

Ever heard Dennis quaid speak Chinese, well I have. Watching that stupid move where the plane crashes in the dessert, Chinese dubbed version. thought you needed to know. Oh man saw some kick ass Kung-Fu movies on the tube. You know, you kill my master, now I must train, and in the end kick the living day lights out of you, yeah that stuff never gets old. The fighting scenes even in the old 70s/80s movies are so cool. Okay something funnier that dennis quaid speaking Chinese, Tyrese Gibson speaking Chinese. He's terrible in Chinese as well. Why does this Dbag get acting jobs? Stick to modeling jackass....(well that was a bit harsh wasn't it?) I bet this stuff would be hilarious for a cheech and chong party…not that I would know.

So for the past 4 nights, I’ve been staying in town called Jiashan, about 2 hour away from Shanghai. It’s only about 300,000 people. The place is a lot quieter than Shanghai. Not as much squalor, nearly not the traffic rate. The roads are curb separated for bicycles/scooters and cars and pedestrians. Excellent design. Only at the intersection do they get in the way of each other. If I wanted, I could actually go for a run. Not in Shanghai, just too many people, too many things to watch out for, and just too many traffic lights. If I spoke the language, I would prefer this to Shanghai. In fact, living here would probably help me learn Chinese faster, but there are things in shanghai, like western food shopping, and sports that I wouldn’t be able to get in Jiashan. But nobody bothers you on the street asking if you want a “blue job”. So that's a plus, trust me that's a plus. So for the second night here, I went to the hotel’s western restaurant and ordered the “sirloin steak”. Here’s a tip for ya, don’t get that “sirloin steak” less than 100 RMB. Pig does not equal cow. Undercooked pork definitely calls for an antibiotic cocktail. Yes I keep that handy...Small Chinese towns, stick with the Chinese food. So the third night, one of the guys from the plant took me out to a local restaurant. I tried tripe for the first time. Ah its okay, but the duck, oh man the duck, c’est magnifique mes amis, c’est magnifique. So I soloed it back to the Delicious Palace the 4th night. They don’t speak a word of English. I show my credit cards and jesture if it is okay? they take the Visa not American Express…even at the post office maybe Jerry, but why don’t you try it at the Delicious Palace in Jiashan. So I sit down, try the lamb this time, mui excellente. So I go to pay with my card, and they don’t take it. SONOFA…..their machine rejects Visa, mastercard, and American Express. Nobody speaks English I can’t understand a freaking word they are saying. Except Bu hao. No good. No good is right. What to do, what to do.. I got 10RMB in cash, and the bill is 52RMB. Even in china, that math doesn’t add up. So I point to the cash I have and show them the bank of china card and jesture that I leave my wallet and go get card. I grab all my credit cards and my green card and leave the place. I freaking run about half a mile to the Bank Of China, use my debit card to withdraw some cash, run back (holy cow I am out of shape), and pay them. By this time, I am sweating like a freaking pig and just soaked the shirt I was going to wear to work tomorrow.

LESSON: Always carry cash, always. At least 500 RMB.
LESSON: Stick with Chinese food in small towns and “steak” <100RMB is usually pork
LESSON: separate curbed sections for cars, pedestrians, and bicycles for urban planning

this weekend, going away part for a guy at work. He's going to Boston for a PhD, BU. rumors are we are roastin a whole pig. Good gravy. mmmmgravyy..argghhhh. Homer style.

Work at a plant

So today was work and today was the realization that the language barrier is the toughest I have had to deal with. I mean I am absolutely lost at times and so is the person trying to communicate with me. So I made some paint today, lots of solvent, talc, resin, all sortsa good chemicals and good gravy the fumes. And did some tests to check the quality, specific gravity, viscosity, etc. So it was a good learning experience. However, the communication barrier is extreme. I mean I felt bad for the lab tech trying ot communicate with me. He was so flustered and frustrated that he coudln't speak english, and it was frustrating, but I have to say that my english was even worse. I need to focus more on learning the language, even ordering dinner, hell I don’t know the words for rice. Well the week is going to be pretty boring. So this might be a slow week for blogs.

Drifting, Lessons learned, lazy blog

Sunday, got up at six, got breakfast, it was aight, and we went to the drifting. Well let’s just say that the drifting was not what I was told. We got on these rafts made out of bamboo poles, and had these chairs made out of bamboo and we floated down this shallow river with a guy with a pole guiding the boat. The river was pretty slow, we had a couple of spots were it could slightly fast, but nothing to get excited about. The most fun I had was having a water gun fight with a couple of little kids on other boats. They had these small super soaker kind and I had this bamboo syringe. Theirs was more accurate but not hat much range and mine the exact opposite. Me 2 kids 0. Good times had by all. So it got real hot real soon and afterwards we went waxberry picking. Waxberries are these giant raspberry looking things that taste like a citrus strawberry. A sweeter grapefruit. They grow on these small trees. We had about a half hour to eat as much as we could and if we wanted to take any back, we would have to pay. The price was bargained for heavily, I even got a video of it. In the end it was 12 RMB/kilo. Not bad. And after that we had lunch and took the long ride back. Stopped at a market which was with all sorts of food and knick knacks. Some good stuff, some not so good stuff. Ryan and Jon tried some silk worm cocoons, and according to their reaction, they tasted as good as they sound.

Well the details of the rest of the trip was a hot buss ride and me trying to sleep without trying to break my neck and playing a fake gun fight game with a kid on the bus. I got him a little toy truck at one of the rest stops, and his mom told him to say " thank you very much" in english. Oh man he came up to me and said it (he's like maybe 6 years old at best) and immediately just jumped into his mom's lap face first because he was so embarrassed. Cute as a button.

Lessons Learned: do not eat silkworm cocoons. drifting is over rated, and waxberries are delicioius but you can't eat too much.

I got Married

Well we’ll get to that bombshell in a minute. Don’t you bastards dare just scroll down. Oh man I just can’t imagine the thoughts going through everyone’s head right now. So we go on a trip to the country, Me, Ryan, Jason, Jon, Isabelle, Jacqueline, and Cheng Xi Hai, actually we call him Xi Hai. You know the first name is the last name thing. We’re on this bus for a long freaking time. We leave at 7 on the dot and yeah that’s right I was there EARLY….you hear me, E-A-R-..ah fuck it you get the point. It’s along ass ride to the mountains. We stop at a service station, I mean I felt like I was on the jersey turnpike and we just took at stop at Molly Pitcher Service Area, except everything is in Chinese. You get the trough and the urinal. Soap, not so much. So yeah you always carry hand sanitzer and wet wipes. We stop for lunch, which was included on the trip (15RMB a piece). That’s less than $2 for those keeping up the math. There was rice, glass noodles, lots of tofu, vegetables, and I think the only meat was the chicken in the chicken soup. When I say chicken soup, we’re talking about an entire chicken, from feet to head in a crock pot. (no insides, thank goodness). All the passangers on the bus was pissed at the tour guide for a crappy meal with all vegetables and no meat. Oh yeah and there was this fish as well which was a little too slimy for most people’s taste. Anyways, we get to our first stop around 2:30 in the afternoon. It’s pretty much a park, sort of like a micro (not mini) grand tetons. You get to see some mountains, breathe some clean air, see blue skies, some waterfalls, get a little wet, and this time it’s not your own sweat. Let me tell ya, it was freaking hot and humid. I could officially designate it sweltering.

So after th emountaisn, we visited this old village. The buildings in the village are over 400 years old, and people still live there. We were taking this tour actually there were lots of tours through this village and people were just going on about their daily lives. They were pretty poor, I mean I have seen worse, but these people are probably the ones who survive on $5 a day you know. So we walk through all the buildings, and my colleagues do their best to translate for us. Jason who is Chinese American speaks both languages fluently and is the interpreter for both sides. So all the door ways have an elevated wall at the bottom and it is a trip hazard. In the olden days, the higher that wall, the higher your social status. It could come waist high, and if that happened, the entrance was a side door. Of course thanks to communism, all that is gone, no more classes. So the grand finale of this day was the recreation of an old style Chinese Wedding. The way it goes is the girl comes out, looks at all the guys in the room, picks on by throwing a decorated (red) pillow at the guy she likes. Of course, me being the only lao wei, (foreigner), she picks yours truly. I go along with it. My friends and everybody else in the tour group is having a great time at my expense, and I’m happy to go along with it. I get all costumed up in this red robe and sash and a cool hat. And we go through the ceremony which lasts like 5 minutes. And then we have fake babies and everything. Good times had by all, especially my friends who could not stop laughing. Oh and their were these who lived at the village who came up to me and said hello and they were just running arund and dancing and having a grand ole time during the recreation. I taught them how to do high fives, although I couldn’t get them to do the pound or flash west siiiide. And during the reenaction they would run up to me and start pulling the hair on my legs. Hilarious.

So what a let down huh? No real marriage just a fake one, but if I send my mom the pictures, we might have an international situation on our hands.
So after that we go to dinner, which is much better because we pay a little extra to get some better dishes and afterwards we go to our hotels. We stop by a real nice looking on and we are all excited, especially the Americans to realize that we might be staying at a nice hotel. Of course, we are dissppointed as the bus drops off two of the passangers and the rest of us are dropped off at less aesthtically pleasing hotel. Well we figure let’s check out the rooms and see if they are serviceable. I’ve stayed at hostels and stuff. The rooms are actually okay, but some serious cash would have to be thrown my way for me to use those bathrooms. So we made the collective decision to ditch our deposit ($6/person), and go the nice hotel we saw. The taxis are 3 times cheaper in this town than Shanghai. The rooms are nice, the beds are good, the bathrooms are great, and the kicker was we got to go play Majan in a private room just the 7 of us. Majan is pretty much played like Gin Rummy except with these tiles with different characters on them. Forced me to learn the characters for Chinese numbers. The best part of the majan was that this thing dealt these tiles and shuffled them automatically. You press the button the center console and the tiles are shuffled and are stacked for you automatically. I have got to get me one of those at the apartment. If you don't think that’ll make me the coolest cat in the office, we’ll obviously you don’t know jack.

Snappy Title

So after last night’s no sleep, I got into work a little late. And here we again…but hopefully this was a one time thing. Not too much happened at work. I was really following the NBA draft. The Sixers get Thaddeus Young. Never heard of him until the draft, could be good, I have no idea. I hate Billy King. The only other guy I could think of getting other than him however would have been Julian Wright from Kansas. I think tht would have been better. Excited to see Oden and Durant in the pros though. Although I think the Hawks had the best draft. They got a Horford and Acie Law. And the Phils, pulling off a dandy against Reds it seems.

Okay back to China. Lunch I tried a Japanese pizza/pancake dish. Kinda greasy. Wouldn’t have it again. It was okay, the ginger in it was pretty good. Really ridiculously unhealthy lunch today. Also had a Chinese donut, it was like a mild curry flavored donut with a hot dog inside it. Yeah not good, but then I also had the camembert muffin/pastry. I was expecting a nice creamy filling of camembert and it was just like tiny streaks inside. Can’t y’all just taste the disappointment?

Anyways moving on, dinner was a much better affair with some “New York Style” Pizza. It was actually pretty good, although the crust was about a 1/8 inch thicker and crispier than a true new york style pizza. Yo Brooklyn…..holla. Okay please someone punch me in the face for ludicrous stuff like that. And about half an hour before I am about to leave, my boss says hey got a few projects for you. We need an Air Handling unit (fancy term for heating and cooling system) for a couple warehouses. The project needs to be approved by July 15th. July 15th? Are you fucking kidding me. Hey do you still want me to go to training for the next two weeks at the local plant? Yes? Really? Oh jee thanks Dave, bang up job so far…(guess which movie)…
What I really wanted to say was, Oh jeez thanks doctor, when the hell do you expect me to have time to call vendors, who do not speak English, get everything translated, get bids back, approve vendor, have HSE and legal approve the SOB, and get customs papers worked, all by July 15th? I guess that’s why they call me big papa. Actually nobody calls me big papa, I completely made that up.

So met up with Zhie, Russ and the gang again tonight afte r packing for the trip. Zhie Hu still is the freaking man, he is just such a nice guy. he took a almost an hour cab ride to just come and hang with me tonight.

So you know what bothered me all day today. The street beggars. People with no legs, or getting pushed around in carts. And when they see that you are a foreigner, they are even more persistent. I feel like a total jerk for not giving them a few RMB, just coins you know. But I always just walk away. I really can’t give a reason why. So I’m kinda dying in guilt here. And then tonight, while hanging out with zhie hu, I get out of a cab, and there are kids, just maybe 4 or 5 years old just coming upto you. Man that just breaks my heart. And of course their parents send them to you on purpose, and they just say xiexie, xiexie, to you with a cup rattling barely reach your waist. That is just hard to ignore. Just gut and heart wrenching. And the thing they are about as angelic as you get you know. So I go into the restaurant with everyone and we order some food and eat and we come out, and couple of the same kids are still there, and I finally break down and give one of them whatever coins that I could grab from my wallet, maybe like 3 or 4 RMB. And as soon as that happens a little girl comes up to me and I give her 1 RMB and she goes away. Then a lady selling roses comes upto me and hounds me for a good minute. Now that doesn’t seem long, but just try asking someone for a solid 60 seconds to buy something, that’s freaking excruciating. I didn’t buy any flowers, but there is the problem. You start giving to one person and it is a swarm. But shit, how can you just ignore them. Then on my way I saw a lady yelling at probably a 4 or 5 year old girl. .the girl was trying to sell flowers at 1 A.M in the morning. Poor kid was probably tired as all hell and her mom probably just didn’t want to hear it. I don’t know I’m just guessing. Let’s end this on a brighter note.

Oh by the way, apparently my chopstick hold is atrocious and I’ve been setting myself up for failure. So I got that to work on over the weekend. Shit I am probably just gonna sleep like a mofo on that 5 hour ride. Well for it’s good night, for y’all it’s afternoon. Really don’t matter cause I can’t upload this mothatrucker t’ll Monday anyways.

Lastly but not leastly for those of y’all wondering, I have had a petticure. Yes I’m comfortable in my manhood and sexuality to admit that. Well at least I think I am. Enjoy the rest of the blog.

You know how we do….