Green Grass is lovely, please cherish it with us

Title: Green Grass is lovely, please cherish it with us

The title is a random street sign translated in english. I think that’ll be the titles of each entry.

Work has been pretty good. So much information. Really cool stuff…in that nerd chemE sorta way. So I am getting training and I have to get quotes on this air heating unit. So all the American companies, Trane, York, Carrier, all have offices in Shanghai and well I try to give one of them a whirl. So I call the first company. Receptionist, speaks enough English to get me through the sales department. And my conversation with the sales guy went a little something like this…

Sales Guy: Wei?...(hello)
Me: Hello, is it okay if we speak English?
Sales Guy: Wei?........
Me: instinctively says “ Wei”
Sales Guy: Assuming I speak Chinese, he goes on for a good 10 seconds which to my ignorant ass sounds like “ shibashabashibahsabhao”
Me: Hel-lo, can we speak English please?
Sales Guy: stays silent for 5 seconds, then Click (probably thinking to himself, hey jackass how about you learn how to speak OUR language, at least that's what I would have thought).

So I keep plugging along and I finally get in touch with all three companies and get them to send me some information to find out that they don’t make what we need. I think you just need to be persistant and it just takes more time than usual. I am used to vendors knocking on my door, now I have to go chase these guys down without speaking the language. Damn direct fire air heaters.

Ever heard Dennis quaid speak Chinese, well I have. Watching that stupid move where the plane crashes in the dessert, Chinese dubbed version. thought you needed to know. Oh man saw some kick ass Kung-Fu movies on the tube. You know, you kill my master, now I must train, and in the end kick the living day lights out of you, yeah that stuff never gets old. The fighting scenes even in the old 70s/80s movies are so cool. Okay something funnier that dennis quaid speaking Chinese, Tyrese Gibson speaking Chinese. He's terrible in Chinese as well. Why does this Dbag get acting jobs? Stick to modeling jackass....(well that was a bit harsh wasn't it?) I bet this stuff would be hilarious for a cheech and chong party…not that I would know.

So for the past 4 nights, I’ve been staying in town called Jiashan, about 2 hour away from Shanghai. It’s only about 300,000 people. The place is a lot quieter than Shanghai. Not as much squalor, nearly not the traffic rate. The roads are curb separated for bicycles/scooters and cars and pedestrians. Excellent design. Only at the intersection do they get in the way of each other. If I wanted, I could actually go for a run. Not in Shanghai, just too many people, too many things to watch out for, and just too many traffic lights. If I spoke the language, I would prefer this to Shanghai. In fact, living here would probably help me learn Chinese faster, but there are things in shanghai, like western food shopping, and sports that I wouldn’t be able to get in Jiashan. But nobody bothers you on the street asking if you want a “blue job”. So that's a plus, trust me that's a plus. So for the second night here, I went to the hotel’s western restaurant and ordered the “sirloin steak”. Here’s a tip for ya, don’t get that “sirloin steak” less than 100 RMB. Pig does not equal cow. Undercooked pork definitely calls for an antibiotic cocktail. Yes I keep that handy...Small Chinese towns, stick with the Chinese food. So the third night, one of the guys from the plant took me out to a local restaurant. I tried tripe for the first time. Ah its okay, but the duck, oh man the duck, c’est magnifique mes amis, c’est magnifique. So I soloed it back to the Delicious Palace the 4th night. They don’t speak a word of English. I show my credit cards and jesture if it is okay? they take the Visa not American Express…even at the post office maybe Jerry, but why don’t you try it at the Delicious Palace in Jiashan. So I sit down, try the lamb this time, mui excellente. So I go to pay with my card, and they don’t take it. SONOFA…..their machine rejects Visa, mastercard, and American Express. Nobody speaks English I can’t understand a freaking word they are saying. Except Bu hao. No good. No good is right. What to do, what to do.. I got 10RMB in cash, and the bill is 52RMB. Even in china, that math doesn’t add up. So I point to the cash I have and show them the bank of china card and jesture that I leave my wallet and go get card. I grab all my credit cards and my green card and leave the place. I freaking run about half a mile to the Bank Of China, use my debit card to withdraw some cash, run back (holy cow I am out of shape), and pay them. By this time, I am sweating like a freaking pig and just soaked the shirt I was going to wear to work tomorrow.

LESSON: Always carry cash, always. At least 500 RMB.
LESSON: Stick with Chinese food in small towns and “steak” <100RMB is usually pork
LESSON: separate curbed sections for cars, pedestrians, and bicycles for urban planning

this weekend, going away part for a guy at work. He's going to Boston for a PhD, BU. rumors are we are roastin a whole pig. Good gravy. mmmmgravyy..argghhhh. Homer style.